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2023 Daily Prayers for Families #NFLW

5/7/2023

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Let us spend the National Week of Family and Life (NFLW) 2023 united in prayer, reflection, and action, demonstrating our active support for family and life. Indeed, families are “guardians of life” when we love one another within our families and in wider society when we show kindness toward and care for the vulnerable and marginalized.
Note: Day 1 can begin anytime! We want to ensure everybody has the opportunity to join in and take part in this wonderful experience. Don't worry if you missed the start of NFLW, you can join in and start participating in the daily prayers and activities from any day.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6

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Day 1 
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Prayer Intention: For single parents | 
God of love and tenderness, we pray for single parents, that you may be their guide, their protector, and their safe refuge. Grant them the grace to provide for the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of their children. In your loving mercy comfort all single parents in times of need and bring healing to their unique suffering. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Daily Activity for families
Single parents can often struggle with feeling isolated or marginalized. If you know someone who is a single parent in your community or church, consider extending yourself to them and their children. You can reach out to them to introduce yourself and get to know them. Other ideas could be dropping off a meal, offering babysitting for an hour, or inviting them over for dinner.

In the parish community
In your parish community, is there an opportunity to establish a network of single parents and their children with others in similar situations? Monthly prayer events or online scripture studies can be a good way to bring single parents together with each other, as well as other families.

Today’s prayer intention and family activity was developed in collaboration with Momentum, a ministry supporting Catholic single mothers. 
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Day 2 
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Prayer Intention: For those living with mental health challenges, including mental illnesses | Loving Jesus, you walk with us along the valleys and peaks of life. Be near to those living with mental health challenges, including mental illnesses. May they hear the still, small voice of calm whisper through the silence,“You are loved. You are not alone.” Strengthen and sustain caregivers and others who accompany those living with mental health challenges, including mental illnesses. May the joy of your Resurrection offer lasting hope and healing, as we await the coming of your kingdom where you live and reign with the Father in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever. Amen.

Daily Activity for families
As a family, take time to check in on your individual mental health and share it with each other while practicing active listening. If you were to describe how you are feeling as a colour, what would it be and why? Recognizing that it’s okay not to be okay, are you experiencing a season of flourishing or of languishing? Can you care for your mental health together today? Perhaps go for a walk, have a kitchen dance party, make a visit to a Eucharistic chapel, bake your favourite muffins, or take a holy nap!

In the parish community
In your parish community, is there an opportunity to organize an outreach program or event to promote the wellbeing of every person? Wellbeing is about supporting the mental, physical, and spiritual health of persons and
families. What are some creative ways your parish community can promote wellbeing? Some examples could include a time of Eucharistic Adoration followed by a time of hospitality and fellowship. For an example ministry, see more information below about Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries. 
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Today’s prayer intention and family activity was developed
in collaboration with Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries,
a ministry equipping the church to support mental health and
wellbeing. 
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Day 3

Prayer Intention: For marriage accompaniment and enrichment | Heavenly Father, I thank you for the gift of my spouse and for the gift of each one of our children. You know our hearts and our needs. You know we desire to live faithfully our promises to you and to each other. We oftentimes find ourselves hurting each other and creating wounds in each other’s heart that we never wanted to cause. We recognize the gaps in our family caused by selfishness that have made us live distantly from you and each other. We want to invite you to fill our hearts with your presence and make us a family united in you. Inspired by the example of the Holy Family may our family always be a living gospel, giving witness to your love in our world. Amen.
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In the parish community
In your parish community, is there  an opportunity to connect with couples preparing for marriage with couples who have been married for a number of years? What can the parish community facilitate to celebrate and recognize couples who have been married one year, or two years? An example is to host a special Mass for couples celebrating one year of marriage alongside mile-stone anniversaries like 10, 25, or 35 years of marriage. Host a special reception following Mass!
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Today’s prayer intention and family activity was developed in collaboration with Witness to Love, a Catholic marriage mentoring and preparation program.
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Day 4

Prayer Intention: For persons with disabilities and their families | Father in heaven, you created us in your divine image. May every person living with a disability experience true belonging in a loving community. Guide us to pursue our call to work for justice and fullness of life for all persons with disabilities. Graciously help us to open new and creative spaces to invite all persons to participate meaningfully in parish and community life. Help us to contribute to the Church and, together, be a sign of the unity of the Body of Christ. Amen. 
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Daily Activity for families
On 3 December 2022, in his message for the International Day of Persons with Disabilities, Pope Francis spoke about a “magisterium of fragility ... a charism by which you—dear sisters and brothers with disabilities—can enrich the Church. Your presence ‘may help transform the actual situations in which we live, making them more human and more welcoming. Without vulnerability, without limits, without obstacles to overcome, there would be no true humanity.’” 

As a family, watch together the 4-minute video below. You will get to know a priest from Australia who was born legally blind and is a witness to a joyful faith lived within human fragility and limits. “We” not “they,” disability in the life of the Church www.bit.ly/IamChurch​
Discussion Questions for Families
  • What surprised you about Fr. Justin Glyn, SJ?
  • In your own life, do you live with certain limitations or vulnerabilities? How does your faith help you with these experiences?
  • After hearing Fr. Justin’s story, do you have any ideas about how to open creative spaces to promote the meaningful participation of persons with disabilities in your faith community?
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In the Parish Community
In your parish community, can you identify ways to open creative spaces for persons with disabilities to foster a sense of belonging for everyone? For some practical ideas in your parish, explore “Beyond the Ramp: A Parish Guide to Welcoming Persons with Disabilities”, written by Connie Price.

Additional Resources
  1. David Rizzo, Faith, Family and Children with Special Needs
  2. Megan Gannon, Special Saints for Special People: Stories of Saints with Disabilities
  3. For Catechists, teachers, parents, families: Loyola Press Resources for Special Needs Ministry: Special Needs | Loyola Press
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Day 5

Prayer Intention: For an increase of good palliative care and end-of-life care | Compassionate and healing God, We pray for all those who are sick and those nearing the end of this earthly life. Draw near to them and extend your consoling presence. Bless them with family and friends to care for and accompany them, skilled caregivers to ease their suffering and lessen their burden, and volunteers to lend a listening ear and steady presence. May your loving embrace be a light to their lives. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.
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Daily Activity for families
Start a conversation in your family about what’s most important to you at the end of life. Health care and end-of-life planning conversations are a powerful entryway to connect meaningfully about life and death. Note: This activity is most appropriate between young adults, parents and grandparents; however, mature teenagers may also find these types of conversations helpful.
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In the parish community
In your parish community, have you launched the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops' Horizons of Hope: A Toolkit for Catholic Parishes on Palliative Care? The open access program includes a facilitator’s guide and four modules that are easy to follow and offer high-quality medical and theological information on palliative care. It is so important to talk about end-of-life are today—don’t delay in opening these conversations in your parish community.
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Day 6 

Prayer Intention: Offering compassion for those grieving the loss of little ones | 
O loving God, out of the depths, we cry to you. Your Spirit intercedes for us even when we do not know how to pray. Come near to those who mourn the loss of a preborn infant or child, for you know our hearts and share our tears especially in times of grief and sorrow. Guide us with your grace to recognize you are always with us, even as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Almighty God, who knew us and formed us in the womb, we ask that you enfold every grieving heart and every child in heaven into your tender loving care; by your Spirit, we ask for your kindness and grace. Amen.

Daily Activityfor the family
Create a ‘Rooted in Love’ Memory Garden Start with talking about how each family member feels about having a memory garden to honour their sibling. Young children can help plan and draw what it might look like. Choose a special tree and plant it together as a family and create a garden so everyone can contribute and participate.

You can symbolize the family unit with pots or other objects such as DIY stepping stones for each family member. Hummingbird feeders and wooden hand-painted bird feeders can attract feathered friends to visit. Be creative and decorate pots, stones etc. with pens or paint. Use ribbons to represent memories, laminate drawings or pictures and hang them off branches.

Make it your own! You may wish to include a statue of the Holy Family and/or design a Rosary garden using painted rocks. Add a prayer bench and table to read, journal or meditate with a candle. It can be healing to sit around a firepit and pray together.

Here are ideas on how families can decorate the tree together; 
  • Advent | Jesse Tree Symbols and/or a numbered bag for each day of Advent with a surprise such as mini pieces to create a small nativity scene to display under the tree
  • Christmas | Have children create their own decorations using clear ornaments and add mini outdoor lights
  • Valentine’s Day | Hang hearts and notes of love and gratitude for family members to find
  • Lent/Easter | Use Easter eggs with scripture verses inside for each day of Lent, have an Easter egg hunt
  • Birthdays | Add streamers, have a picnic in the yard that includes birthday cake  

Additionally, the same plant/tree can also be sent to extended family members so they can also be part of honouring the lost child. Flower seeds can also be sent to those who are farther away. It's a beautiful way to remember loved ones and also create a new life and memories together. How meaningful would it be to exchange pictures of the memory gardens each Christmas? 
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In the Parish Community
In your parish community, can you find ways to gently raise awareness and support for those grieving the loss of preborn and born children?

​Sometimes the best people to lead these outreach programs and initiatives are those who have also experienced the grief of losing a child. Consider working closely with these parents and families and seeking guidance from them in your pastoral approaches and ideas.  

Today’s prayer intention and family activity was developed in collaboration with Elizabeth Ministry BC, which offers faith-based, peer support after loss of a baby during pregnancy, at birth, in infancy and toddlerhood. Visit Elizabeth Ministry BC’s website here: elizabethministrybc.ca
Source: National Life & Family Week Daily Prayers & Activities, CCCB, 2023
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The Beaver Tale

2/14/2023

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This St. Valentine’s Day, Jessica and Joseph Cyr celebrate a champagne wedding anniversary of sorts, with 14 years of marriage on the 14th. In that time, just as their family has grown to include five children, so has their extended family of faith.

The ceremonial ‘passing of the beaver pelt’ from one newlywed couple to another is a seemingly silly tradition that the Cyrs started in their Calgary Catholic community shortly after they were married, and never imagined would still be going strong today.
“I thought it would be fun to start a tradition within the Catholic community,” said Joseph Cyr. “I had the beaver hanging on my wall. It was unique to me, no one else had a homemade beaver pelt. I thought, ‘hey we can use that, and it’s something very Canadian, something that represents our heritage.’” 

At the time of publication, 48 couples, with more than 100 children combined, have written their names and wedding dates on the back of this storied beaver pelt. ​
PictureJessica and Joseph Cyr
History of the Pelt

​Back when Joseph was in high school, he earned his trapping license and trapped a beaver in a creek near his hometown of Pincher Creek, Alberta. He proceeded to prepare the beaver’s pelt for mounting onto plywood. While he had hoped to continue pursuing this hobby, the beaver was the only animal he ever trapped. 

Shortly after he and Jessica married, Joseph hung the pelt in the living room of their first home, but as it happened Jessica did not exactly share Joseph’s taste in home decor. Joseph then had the idea to gift the pelt to another young couple; Jessica was very receptive to the notion and thus a tradition was born.

The Cyrs presented it to Jared and Natalie Fehr at their wedding reception with the stipulation that they must display the pelt prominently in their home until the next Catholic couple involved with their young adult community married, at which point the ceremonial bestowing of the beaver pelt would continue. 

“Every time I hear the beaver pass to another couple, I say a quick prayer: “God be with them in their first years and keep them close to you,” said Jessica, a parishioner at St. Bernard’s Parish in Calgary.  

“I feel connected to the couples in the wider Catholic community by the beaver tradition in a maternal sense, especially now that over a decade has passed and a new generation of couples - the age of kids I used to babysit - are having it passed to them.” ​
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PictureAdam Pittman presenting the Beaver pelt at the Toner's wedding.
The beaver’s lodge

Currently, the pelt is in the possession of Brian and Jennifer Toner. Per the directive, it is displayed above their living-room television in Cupertino, California – one hour South of San Francisco. 

Adam Pittman presented the pelt on behalf of the Catholic community at their wedding reception in November in Saskatoon. 

“For us, receiving the beaver pelt was a huge honour,” said Jennfier Toner.

“It felt like our marriage was being uplifted by the prayers and thoughts of the whole group, whether we knew each couple or not. We also felt excited, because it is a delightfully ridiculous ‘gift and re-gift ' process that we now get to partake in,” Toner added.  

The beaver travels abroad 

A large part of the fun of this tradition is figuring out logistics as it travels from one couple to another. Now that it was in the Toner’s possession, they needed to figure out how to bring it with them across the border.

To get home, they needed to pass U.S. Customs. They had to assure the border guards of their plan to wrap it in a white garbage bag and take it as carry-on luggage on the airplane and stow it under their two seats. The first guard they met started laughing when they told her they had a beaver pelt. Then they were brought over for a secondary inspection.

“The second guard was enthusiastic about the pelt, because he’d always wanted to see one,” said Jennifer. “He told us a lot about the history of the Canadian fur trade and asked if he could touch the fur on the sides where the beaver is the softest.”

This second guard then called a third person from Agriculture Canada.

“He referred to it on the phone as a “family heirloom” that gets passed down from person to person. Beaver isn’t an endangered species in Canada, and because it was tanned, came from Alberta, and had been across the border before, everything checked out,” said Jennifer.  

The whole process took about 20 minutes.

Years ago, one couple had taken the beaver across the U.S.A./Canada land border while on their way to present it at their friends’ wedding in Vancouver. Following a long back-and-forth involving both American and Canadian customs agents, the beaver received official "papers," and the pelt was officially stamped on the back, from both sides of the border. These papers have traveled with the beaver ever since, and proved helpful to the border guards in the Toner’s recent travels.
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Brian & Jennifer Tonner
PictureThe Beaver Pelt (2023)
A silly or serious tradition? 

In his own way, Fr. Cristino Bouvette feels very much part of the beaver pelt tradition. He has celebrated the weddings of at least half of the couples associated with the beaver pelt, and witnessed time and again the passing on of the pelt at wedding receptions.

“It is clearly a silly tradition, but not merely a silly tradition. It is also a sign of married life being one of openness to the wider community. People marry for the sake of expanding the community of believers, expanding the community of the world,” said Fr. Bouvette.

“In receiving this memento, albeit tacky, it’s a sign of belonging to a wider community outside of your married life, which is a very important testament to the mystery of marriage. You give yourself to the other for the sake of the other, and then in that one flesh union that opens up to all others,” Fr. Bouvette added.

“It’s such a great sign to me of our ever-expanding faith community.” 


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Written by Sara Francis for Faithfully. Sara is a writer living in Calgary with her husband Ben and their six children. They attend St. Bernard's / Our Lady of the Assumption Parish 

​Photos submitted by Sara Francis. Used with permission. 
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6 Comments

A Catholic Divorce? Certainly not.

10/10/2022

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Find out why the term “Annulment” is problematic and why it’s not the same as the Declaration of Nullity. Watch this brief video with Fr. Mark-Mary. 
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It takes three to make a marriage: man, woman, and God. It only takes one for marriages to fail.

​Consider this…

He answered, “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female’, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”. Matthew 19:4-6

All things beautiful last forever, and beauty involves joy, hardships, mutual self-giving, and sacrifice.

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Dad talk

6/12/2022

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Dads, as we gear up for Father’s Day, let’s take a moment to watch this video and see if we can find a fresh perspective on fatherhood or a new inspiration to step up our game! 
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Thank you for always trying to be the best dad that you can be! Have a wonderful time with your family on Father’s Day.

Consider this...
“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  Ephesians 6:4
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Teaching the ways of God and of love can never be through the path of anger! Lead by example. We must be the first to admit our need to grow, and in the process, show others the way through our small and sincere efforts in becoming a better version of ourselves through Christ.

Here’s a support resource for men: https://godsquad.ca/
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All things are possible with God

6/1/2022

3 Comments

 
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I was born and raised in a Catholic home. I remember attending church with my parents but I sensed early on as a young child that my father was not living out his vocation and role as a husband and father. My father was an alcoholic, and because of his addiction, he was unable to be fully present to his family, or to teach me and prepare me for life the way a young boy needed.

I missed out on having a personal relationship with my father, on experiencing his love and acceptance. I was not given a proper example of how I should conduct myself as a mature person. Having personally experienced what life was like with an alcoholic father, I told myself many times that I would be different towards my own family, that there would be joy and love, mutual understanding and peace in the home; the very things that were missing in my own home and upbringing.
 
After I got married and started my own family, I came to realize that things were not so easy as I had imagined them to be. I struggled with dealing with my obligations as a husband, father, and provider. Often times alcohol served as a comfort and means to deal with daily challenges, but then it was followed by feelings of guilt, remorse, bitterness, and regret. Even hatred towards my father would surface for not having prepared me for life’s circumstances. I grieved over my father’s inability to model for me how to be a good husband, father, and man. I was terrified and panicked by the fact that I was becoming just like my father. I sought solace through alcohol, and of course, that made things worse.

While moving through life in this way, I longed for something more. I sensed that there was more. 

​I owe so much to my wife, who kept our family together, and never stopped believing that things could be different, better… that I could become the man she knew I could be.  I knew that I needed help. I knew that the future wellbeing of my family, marriage, and the good of my 3 children depended on me becoming the man God called me to be. but at the same time feeling I couldn’t do it by myself.  I needed help and direction.  I needed God, and a renewed sense of faith and prayer to rise above the pain, hurts, resentment, and challenges.

Having exhausted various avenues, I cried out to God for help. It was then in the experience of powerlessness and sincere sorrow that God answered the call of my heart. He sent a friend my way who then reintroduced me to God and His mercy, to the loving protection of our Mother Mary, and who invited me to model my life after the example of St. Joseph in my call to be father, and to model our family after the example of the Holy Family.
 
It has been a long journey, but ever-grateful to the Lord, I am happy to share that I am alcohol-free for the last seven years. There have been many good days, tougher days, but I am better equipped to deal with them than ever before. My wife and I have been engaged in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, and the experience of the Spirit’s current of grace has been life-transforming.

Not only have I come to know Jesus in a personal and intimate way, received a new and ongoing outpouring of the Spirit, discovered that I am loved by my Heavenly Father, but through this new life in the Spirit, I have come to terms with my past, and have been given the grace to forgive and pray for the eternal repose of my earthly father. I have come to know God and that He is with me always, and that with Him all things are possible.

Thanks to God, my relationships with my wife and children have improved and I have become a better husband and father, and that my family can count and rely on me. Recently my wife shared with me that I remind her of St. Joseph!

​Yes, with God, all things are possible, all things are made new.


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Written by Slawomir Wisniewski for Faithfully. Slawomir lives in Calgary with his wife Ania and three children. He and his family are active members of Our Lady Queen of Peace Parish. 

Photos courtesy of Slawomir Wisniewski.
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Fruitful love: Inviting Jesus in

2/13/2022

1 Comment

 
Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Saviour, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony." Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ," and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.” 

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Catechism of the Catholic Church 1642
It is an unfortunate truth that in a global pandemic, many marriages have ended. The pressure and strain of maintaining a marriage when it feels like the world is on the brink of collapse is undoubtedly playing a part. Bleak statements, but don’t look away. The following stories are accounts of how the Sacraments have nourished couples in our Diocese through such struggles. In light of St. Valentine’s Day, when we celebrate not only a holy saint, but the sacrament he is known to have stood for, it was an honour to sit with friends and talk about love and life.
Reverence for Christ, love and laughter are paramount in the home of Irene Sarmiento and Ernesto Lozano, who met and married in their home-country of Mexico before emigrating to Canada with their growing family 11 years ago. They’ve been married for 26 years and they have six children.

“On our wedding day, we received the blessing of the bishop who married us, and one of the wedding gifts was a papal blessing from Pope John Paul II. I feel we’ve had tons of grace helping us on our journey,” said Irene.

That journey would carry them far from their beginnings, but when they arrived in Canada, they found a new home in their Catholic communities in Calgary.

“When we went to Church and I saw the tabernacle, I felt at home, because the Church is everywhere, and it is actually like you have a family,” said Irene, commenting that the Church community in Canada welcomed them with open arms when they arrived.

The family of the Church welcomed another couple into its midst in 2014, when Jean-Francois (JF) and Ana Church said, “I do.”

Though they met one another and attended JF’s prom together in 2006, they had a long journey toward marriage. As both of them journeyed separately toward a deeper relationship with God and  a greater understanding of the workings of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they formed a friendship that blossomed into love as they eventually served in youth ministry together in Ottawa.

“It is such an intimate relationship when you are working with someone and being guided by the holy spirit and teaching about God,” said Ana. “You really get to see that person’s heart and where they are at and where their relationship with God is at. At the time I thought, ‘these are all the qualities that I’m looking for in a husband.’”

Both said they feel they were guided to one another by God.

“For some time, I thought I wanted to be a priest,” JF shared, saying he took a yearlong discernment retreat to find out.

“The answer for me was clear that I was called to exemplify the Holy Family, and that’s a tall order. I didn’t know who the lady would be at that time, but every time there’s a shadow of doubt, I know that I discerned this and that God has a plan for us.”

God’s plans are mysterious and beautiful. As I listened to both of these couples share their memories, my own came vividly to mind. Thirteen years ago on February 14th, my husband Joseph who had also discerned the priesthood but felt called to have a family, married.

As I walked down the aisle of our hometown church on the arm of my dad, I remember being awestruck. My thoughts raced, but I remember thinking that this was the church where our parents had brought us to be baptized, and where we had walked down the aisle to receive the Eucharist countless times, and here we were on the same path toward something entirely new and sacred. We felt truly at home in the Church in that moment.

“Being married is not easy, it is hard,” said Ernesto matter-of-factly, “especially being married to someone like me,” he finished with a wry smile.

I’ll confess I feel like Joseph sometimes carries an unfair burden with such an emotional, opinionated wife. But all self-deprecation and joking aside, as Catholics we have been richly blessed in the Sacraments, which feed our souls and call us to deeper conversion.
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Irene Sarmiento and Ernesto Lozano with their family, summer 2021.
PictureAna and JF Church with their children, Christmas 2021.
In 2011, Joseph and I walked the aisle of the same Church at my father’s funeral. It gave me comfort to recall our wedding, my First Communion and all of the Masses I’d attended there as I walked, this time with the heaviness of grief. It was in the Sacraments and in my marriage that I found solace.

This moment came to mind when Ernesto said, “when you are feeling terrible, there is always the Sacrament of Reconciliation.” He and Irene try to go often, and to normalize going for their children.

It is important for them that their children would feel at home in the church.

“When the children were little, I would take them and ask the priest if they could talk with him a little bit. That way when it came time for their First Reconciliation they weren’t going to a person they didn’t know,” Irene said.

As Irene and Ernesto recall starting their family, they remember feeling overwhelmed too.

“When you have your first child they do not come with instructions,” said Ernesto facetiously.

“Yes,” added Irene, “you have to figure it out as you go.”

Six children, including now-adult children have given them a lot of practice in parenting, and I had to resist the temptation to sit for hours picking their brains for advice about my own family. Something that is important to the couple is mentorship of parents, which they do through their involvement with a program called Family Enrichment.

As parents of young children, Mass can be a challenge. Nonetheless, Ana and JF try to attend Mass as often as possible.

In moments where certain behaviours are causing problems of concentration, JF says he tries to “remove myself mentally from the situation, as if to see myself in the third person, pretending that I’m God the Father looking at this situation; one of the kids wrote on the pew with wax crayon and I’m trying to listen to the homily.

“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me,” and if I am pretending I am God looking in, I think “okay, this is actually hilarious.” If I miss the homily, then I know God meets us where we don’t expect it, and he’ll fill me some other way.”

“I don’t operate that way,” said Ana, “and I often feel alone in those moments.”

“So often I pray to the Holy Spirit that I need help. Sometimes (during Mass, but also in everyday life) I’m praying under my breath and the kids ask “what are you doing?” and I say “I’m inviting Jesus right now… you should too!”

It models for them that they can reach out to God when they need Him and that He will be there for us even when we might feel alone.”

“It also models for them that we are not trying to raise them to be perfect,” said JF. “We expect them to have freakouts just like we do, but in those moments there is a Holy Spirit, there is a Jesus, there is an Abba-Daddy who cares for us and wants to help. I think it is just beautiful to model that.”

To support one another in continuing to grow a relationship with God, Ana and JF have been going alternate weeks to Tuesday night Reconciliation, Mass and Adoration for almost a year.

“Having that sacred time that we can look forward to and that we protect for each other is really key. We also get to listen to the homily that day, which is really nice,” said Ana.

“It’s amazing how many saints went to frequent confession,” pointed out JF, who finds it helpful to go often and “break the cycle of sin.”

“If I’m going often, with not a lot of time between confessions, I’m forcing myself to be in a position to make an examination of conscience and go a deeper route so that I can address things in myself – other personality defects that are leading me to those sins.”

Ana and JF are a couple who’ve spent quite a long time building up the spiritual life of their family and seeking the Sacraments.

“The key is really staying vulnerable with the Lord and with each other, and I find the Sacraments just make room for that psychologically and emotionally, and bring a source of inspiration and dreaming with the Lord,” said JF.


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Written by Jessica Cyr for Faithfully..  Jessica is a journalist, wife, and mother of five. She attends St. Bernard’s Parish ​ in Calgary. 

Photos courtesy of Ana & JF Church, and Irene Sarmiento. 
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1 Comment

In His time

2/10/2021

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Growing up, I often recited my “life checklist” – by the age of 25 (27 at the latest) I will have a full-time job teaching, own my first home, and be married with a baby on the way. The saying is true, God laughs when we make plans. "For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. (Jer. 9:11)

At the age of 26, I would have told you I was at least on par with my plan. I was in a long-term relationship with someone I was sure would be my forever. Yet looking back, if I had been more honest with myself, I knew he wasn’t (and I think he did too). We were very different and yet we loved each other and celebrated our differences. But sometimes love isn’t enough.

I can recall praying through tears on a car drive home, pleading with God to take him out of my life if he wasn’t the one. I got my answer to prayer, albeit in the most heartbreaking way – he’d leave me in the weeks to come after falling in love with someone else. As with all loss, I went through the cycle of grief – but my faith was never shaken. Calling into mind the poem, Footprints in the Sand:  "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you. Never, ever, during your trials and testings."

Fast forward to the summer of 2019 – I am now 31 and still single after the breakup in 2017 despite my best efforts to put myself out there and meet someone. I trusted in God knowing he knew the desires on my heart, yet my patience was thinning. I had just returned from a summer away in Ireland with a dear friend, and I was settling into my new home in the downtown core of Calgary. “Single and ready to mingle” as they say. Little did I know that God was aligning the stars in His perfect timing – on August 16th the love of my life would walk into my world and change life as I knew it forever.

​For those who know me well, they’ll attest to the fact that I enjoy storytelling, especially as it pertains to answered prayers, signs from God, or little messages sent by an angel – ever find dimes in odd places?

August 5th, 2020 was not unlike any other summer day (although I’m now 32). We had an early start that morning as my boyfriend and I were on our way to Moraine Lake to catch the sunrise and paddleboard. He had been acting strange, but I figured it was due to a 2 AM alarm clock and a lack of sleep. What I would learn later that morning is that his nerves were slowly eating away at him as he prepared to get down on one knee to ask me to be his wife (spoiler – I said yes)! August 5th is the Feast Day of Our Lady of the Snows, the name of the school where I began my teaching career. This was undeniably a sign from Our Lady in the midst of a pandemic to remind me to trust, to keep the faith, and maintain hope.

As we prepared for our December 2021 nuptials at Our Lady of the Rockies Shrine in Canmore, we enrolled in the Marriage Preparation Course offered through Catholic Family Service. While we like to think we knew everything about one another, this opportunity gave us the chance to go deeper. In reflecting on our own families growing up, we conversed about what we wanted to bring to the table when it came to building our family, and the misgivings that we wanted to avoid. We had thoughtful and reflective conversations on our 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman), and explored the types of communicators we are and areas we need to work on. Important here was understanding that no family will ever be perfect, not even Christ’s own family – a genealogy that included an array of sinners. However, we affirmed the need to remain rooted in faith and love.

Marry the right person, in the right place, at the right time. But more than that – trust that God will lead you to the right person, in the right place, and in His time. 

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Written by Lindsay Fagan. ​Lindsay is newly engaged to a Canadian Military veteran with plans to wed at Our Lady of the Rockies Shrine in December 2021. She works as the Director of Catholic Education for Christ The Redeemer Catholic Schools. Their home parish is St. James Parish in Okotoks.
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Five reasons to take St. Joseph as patron for 2021

1/12/2021

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​Aames Abanto from Catholic Sunday Best offers five great reasons for Catholic gentlemen to adopt St. Joseph as their 2021 patron saint. 
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  • St. Joseph had the original Dad Bod 
    Ancient images depict St. Joseph as an old man, to protect the virginity of Mary (the lily he traditionally held), but this is not so. The Ancient Greek term for carpenter was a tektōn (Mark 6:3), an artisan/craftsman. Not only was he a carpenter, but he was a builder, stonemason, and engineer. The best depiction of his strength could be in the sculpture of the Holy Family in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in the Diocese of Wichita, Kansas. The titles of Terror of Demons and Protector of the Virgin would not be appropriate for a frail old man, but for a strong, physically gifted man. Where else could our Lord endure lifting a 300 lb. cross from Jerusalem to Calvary if not learning from his foster father’s trade? Consider him as a patron of your 2021 fitness goals.

  • He relied on God in fear
    The first years of Joseph’s married life were chaotic. He was a righteous man (Matthew 1:19) and feared for Mary’s safety. If he disgraced her publicly for being pregnant outside of marriage, she would have been stoned to death. He also feared for the life of Jesus when Herod killed children in Judea (Matthew 2:16). He had to lead his family to escape for Egypt and find suitable employment to provide for his family (in Egypt and Nazareth). Most men would be paralyzed by this kind of marriage, but St. Joseph relied on God and protected his family. I’ve been laid off three times since 2012, and looking for meaningful employment to ensure my family had a place to live and food on the table was challenging. St. Joseph was a great role model in those seasons. Perhaps if you’ve lost employment, are afraid of uncertainty, or facing great challenges, he can be yours too.

  • (Spiritual) Fatherhood is good
    Imagine what Joseph felt when he found out that his wife was pregnant, and the son was not his own. I’m sure his desire to become a biological father was great, especially since he descended from King David. I would like to imagine that Joseph embraced this role well, but I’m confident that he took Jesus as his own son and became a true Spiritual Father. I have a replica of the statue of St. Joseph and the Child Jesus from the Basilica of Mary Queen of the Universe on my desk at home. It shows Joseph teaching his foster son carpentry, but it also shows Joseph’s wonder at Jesus’ delight. Joseph’s eyes had a Father’s tender gaze. As a husband carrying the cross of infertility for many years, it gives me hope that Joseph was gifted with grace in his Spiritual Fatherhood. It is my prayer that I gain that same grace if Spiritual Fatherhood is my lifelong vocation.

  • We can have a hidden life and still be a saint
    Pope Benedict XVI had a great devotion to St. Joseph. He said that Joseph’s “greatness, like Mary’s, stands out even more because his mission was carried out in the humility and hiddenness of the house of Nazareth” (Angelus, March 19, 2006). It is an incredible contrast from our Blessed Mother, who had a more predominant appearance in the Gospel because Joseph protected her and Jesus in their hidden life. Isn’t it a wonder that from those thirty, quiet years in the Galilean hill country that Jesus emerges to preach the Good News? The sculpture of the Death of Joseph at the Shrine of Our Lady of the Rockies inspires us that even with a quiet & faithful daily life, free from social media prominence, Christ & Our Lady will take our hand at the hour of our death to share in the Heavenly Banquet.​
  • Naps are awesome
    Joseph did not speak a word in the New Testament. However, he was spoken to in his dreams four times. The first was to take Mary as his wife (Matthew 1:20) and the second was when they needed to flee to Egypt (Matthew 1:13) and the third prompted him of Herod’s death and return to Israel (Matthew 1:19-20) and finally, to settle in Galilee (Matthew 1:22). It is something to keep in mind that many husbands (including this one) enjoy occasional naps. Who knows, maybe our Lord could be speaking to us in our dreams, gentlemen. Perhaps this is a point you can share with your wife next time.
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Written by Aames Abanto.

​Aames has been involved in Ministry since 2002. After immigrating to Canada in 2001, he joined the Couples for Christ Youth and was involved with the group until 2010. He met his wife of 8 years Angela in the group. A veteran of pilgrimages, he attended World Youth Days in Germany, Australia, Spain and Poland. Aames currently attends St. Joseph's Church in Calgary and serves as a member of the Parish Pastoral Council and Safety Team. His patrons are St. Joseph, St. Michael, St. John Paul II and the Blessed Mother. Follow Aames in Instagram @catholicsundaybest
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Photos courtesy of Aames & Angela Abanto
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Love takes action

2/12/2020

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A hundred days ago, my husband and I said our vows before the altar of our Lord. If you were to ask me five years ago if I would be where I am at now, I would not have imagined this present moment. In fact, sometimes when I wake up in the morning and he greets me good morning, I would still think to myself, “Oh right — I’m married!”

Quite honestly, sometimes I feel it has not sunk in… but then again, it has only been 100 days. These past few months, friends have always asked us, “How’s married life?” Almost every time, I would mutter a quick, “oh it's great", or "well, it's new!" and such.

But how is it, really.

“It’s new.”

I have always thought that it will be an easy “transition” to the married life for Ryan and I because we have been together for many years, but I was caught by a surprise: I thought I knew him well enough; however, since we’ve been married, I have learned many new things about my husband! Don’t get me wrong: I knew what I was getting into — that the man I was going to marry was a man of values and had the characteristics I prayed for.

By new, I meant those things that you don’t really discover until you live together. And while some may think that you first need to experience living with someone before you marry them, they are completely missing out — being married (and now living together) gave us more reasons to get to know each other on a more meaningful level. While it could be difficult sometimes, I’ve learned that through those “new” experiences, we could still love each other even more. 

“You need to communicate.”

Talk about the little things. Do not complain, nag, blame, or accuse. Your spouse cannot read your mind, and you cannot assume the other person knows what you’re thinking or feeling! There will be some occasions when they will know something is not right, but one cannot always expect this. It's important to cultivate patience, especially when your spouse does things differently than you do — and even more when you think your way of doing things is much better. Ha!
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Experience the Gift

Be a gift and allow your spouse to be a gift to you — to love you without speculating that they only do things for you out of obligation because now, you’re married. Allow your spouse to accept you and love you, knowing that they will find your self-offering a gift that is precious. Cherish and serve them because you love them. Allow your spouse to do the same and do not question or limit their love for you despite of however little or much they seem to do. Every time I ask Ry to do something for me and he isn’t really up for it, he would always say jokingly, “It’s okay! I'll do it! Die to self!” It’s our running joke, and although he says it tongue in cheek, I appreciate it because I know that he is not only giving all he can, but he is giving all that he is.

I know we have a lifetime ahead as husband and wife, and even many more experiences, challenges that will come our way. We pray that this commitment of constantly choosing to love will always draw us back to the self-giving love that Christ had for his Church. May we always see this marriage as a gift that points and leads us to Christ. After all, our vocation is to lead each other to heaven.
Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family – a domestic church. ~ Pope John Paul II

Written by Karissa Factura.
​Photos courtesy of Karissa & Ryan Factura.
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The Faith & Marriage Connection

2/11/2020

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A mainstay of Church calendars since the 5th century and a secular celebration of romance for more than 500 years, St. Valentine’s Day gives Catholic couples a mid-winter opportunity to show appreciation for beloved spouses. While some forsake the highly-commercialized nature of what they see as a kind of Valentine’s Day beast, others will mark the day with cards and chocolates. This year, three parishes in the Catholic Diocese of Calgary upped the ante. Two are holding Valentine’s-themed events and the third hosted a retreat led by a married couple who willingly shared with Faithfully a few ideas about ways to keep Catholic marriages faith-filled—and happy. 

Prayerful thanks

At Holy Trinity in Blairmore, more than 20 couples celebrated their Catholic marriages at a Marriage Promise Renewal service on Feb. 7. The event builds on the success of similar services Fr. Joseph Nagothu organized when serving parishes in India, Rockyford, Beiseker and Calgary.

All couples married in the Church are welcome to attend the church service, followed by a banquet in the parish hall. Like the renewal of baptismal vows at Easter, the marriage promise renewal invites couples to rededicate themselves to the sacramental nature of marriage and a deeper awareness of God’s grace in their lives.

The ceremony can be especially resonant with couples who are finding their way back to the Church and for those who’ve let their faith simmer to a kind of lukewarm temperature, explains Fr. Nagothu. He says past participants have thanked him for graces received when they took part in the service.

Parish council is onboard with their priest’s plans to make the service an annual event. “Next year, we plan to hold this same event at Holy Trinity on Feb. 14,” says Fr. Nagothu. 

In Strathmore, Sacred Heart parish organized a Wedding Anniversary Celebration for Feb. 8. The dinner and dance will celebrate marriage and raise money for the parish building fund. Organizers hope some of the 150 participants will come dressed in their wedding attire, says Simon Caron, a parish volunteer and a member of Sacred Heart’s fundraising committee. “The idea is to recreate the best day of people’s lives.” 

The Sacred Heart fundraiser will include square dancing, with a local caller adding to the fun, says Caron.

The faith/marriage connection

Couples who aren’t participating in formal events can use all of the largely-secular hullabaloo surrounding Valentine’s Day as an excuse to spark their own marriage renewal, says Donna and Jeff Garrett of Omaha, Nebraska.

The Garretts, who will celebrate 32 years of marriage this summer, were at Sacred Heart parish in downtown Calgary in late January to lead a two-day retreat, Your Difference Has a Purpose. 

The Garretts, who embraced the Regnum Christi movement about 20 years ago, teach others how to identify and explore their God-given talents. Retreat participants included couples, single people and individuals who came without their spouses.

Before the retreat, participants used the CliftonStrengths assessment tool to learn about their strengths. During the retreat, a guided assessment of their individual results led people to what Jeff calls, the “wow factor.” That’s the moment when people realize why they do things the way they do—and why that could rub some people the wrong way. “You solve problems with strengths, but strengths also become blinders,” notes Jeff. 

The family that prays together

Outside their work as retreat leaders, the Garretts say they’ve learned to make their faith a foundation of their marriage. “We pray together and that has evolved over our married life,” says Colleen. “In the early days, she prayed there and I prayed over here,” says Jeff with a smile. “Now, we really do pray together.”

The Garretts encourage other couples to value the sacramental nature of a Catholic marriage. “Our marriage is about ‘us.’ But it’s also about ‘us’ within the body of the Church,” says Colleen. In that context, her life as a Catholic wife, mother and grandmother calls her to see “how that means working to help the people around me become saints,” says Colleen. “I, as a spouse, want to see my husband succeed. I want him to be a saint.”

Jeff’s own commitment to the sacramental nature of his marriage allows him to live by the personal mantra, “give your best to your best.” 

The Garretts say their marriage benefits from sharing assessments of their individual strengths. “The other thing we are very good at is focused listening,” says Colleen. “And that costs no money,” adds Jeff. 

Colleen also credits Jeff with being very good at positive affirmation and they both take care to make sure that “we set each other up to succeed with our kids.” If a child shares sensitive information with Colleen, for example, she’ll make sure Jeff knows so that he can be similarly supportive. They’ve also learned to have interests outside their children. That was a tip they learned early in their marriage and Colleen says it’s served them well.

We would like to hear from you about the role of prayer in your marriage. Please complete the short survey. Your responses will be shared anonymously to help all married couples https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FNCBDZ2 
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Marriage renewal celebration at Holy Trinity, Blairmore
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A personal touch on a destination wedding

7/11/2019

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Newlyweds Andrea and Juan Carlos received a special papal blessing at the Vatican on their European honeymoon in the spring.  

Dressed in their wedding attire, they were afforded an audience with Pope Francis — a moment Andrea describes as “surreal.” The couple received a blessing and the Pope asked them to pray for him.

The papal audience was made possible thanks to Fr. Pilmaiken Lezanok, St. Michael Community Associate Pastor. He told the couple about this opportunity for newlyweds to meet the Pope and helped them through the process of applying for an audience. 

“It was just an unforgettable experience. It helped us to start on the right foot,” said Andrea. 

Before departing on their honeymoon, the St. Michael’s couple got married at St. Mary’s Church in Banff. 

St. Mary’s Church is considered a destination wedding parish. Couples travel from as far as Australia, the Philippines, Germany, England, South America, the United States of America, across Canada, Alberta and Calgary to celebrate their Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

While this small rural parish only serves about 100 registered parishioners, mainly workers who live in Banff National Park and those vacationing in the area, each year Pastor Dan Stevenot celebrates between 20 to 30 weddings. 

“For a small country parish, it is a lot of weddings. People are coming because of their faith and the beauty of the mountains,” said Fr. Stevenot. 
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Andrea & Juan Carlos, and Pope Francis
This is the case for James Champion and Ashley Stark, an engaged couple living on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. They met in 2012 while both studying for their PhD in Psychology. Since Stark is originally from Edmonton and her family still lives there, they are planning a small 20-guest winter destination wedding for December 21, 2019.  

“This was an important part of our special day, to be able to celebrate our relationship not just in front of our closest friends and family, but with God’s blessing as well,” said Stark. 

“We really wanted to be married in a Catholic church,” said Stark.
“My family is Catholic, so will no doubt enjoy the ceremony at St. Mary’s, but my Grandfather, in particular, is very devout in his faith and we really look forward to sharing this special part of our day with him at St. Mary’s Parish,” she said.   

While the couple has never visited St. Mary’s Church, they did meet Fr. Stevenot in January while he was visiting Australia’s Gold Coast. They organized a lunch at the local surf club, spending the afternoon getting to know one another and talking about the church and wedding plans.  

“This is going to make the day even more special as we have now had the chance to meet the priest who will be marrying us,” said Stark. “So despite not having been to the church itself, we feel a special connection with it already.”
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James Campion, Ashley Stark and Fr. Dan Stevenot


Written by Sara Francis for Faithfully

For more information on St. Mary's Parish in Banff, visit: http://www.stmarysparishbanff.ca
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