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The Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict (1955-2019)

6/26/2019

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The Ministry of the Sisters of the Order St. Benedict in the Province of Alberta (1955 to 2019)

In 1955 the Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict in Arborg, Manitoba responded to a call to teach in the province of Alberta in the new R.C. Assumption School in the village of Oyen. Since that grace-filled call, the Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict have continued to minister to this day in other areas of the province of Alberta.

Their call came on December 20, 1954, when Fr. Stephen Molnar, pastor of Sacred Heart Parish in Oyen, Alberta wrote a letter to Rev. Mother Dorothea, O.S.B., prioress of the  Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict in which he requested the services of two teaching Sisters for the newly established Assumption R.C. Separate School District #5- (October 1, 1954) in Oyen, Alberta. The parishioners of Sacred Heart Parish had taken a great leap in faith and courage when they had the first Separate School District established in 27 years outside the cities and towns of the Diocese of Calgary. Thus, while the school district became firmly established, and plans were moving forward for the construction of the school, the greatest need still had to be addressed which was to obtain the services of at least two teaching Sisters who would pioneer this brave venture.

To his grateful surprise, Fr. Molnar received a reply from Mother Dorothea dated March 3, 1955 which indicated that the Sisters would be willing to respond favorably to his request pending the receipt of further detailed information and a site visit.

Following this hopeful response, Fr. Molnar quickly contacted the R.C. Bishop of Calgary and plans were swiftly put into motion for the sisters to begin a canonically established branch house, known as St. Benedict's Convent in the village of Oyen, Alberta.

As in all great plans and dreams, when the four Sisters arrived in Oyen, Alberta, on August 24, 1955, they found that the new school and convent were not ready. Furthermore, neither would be ready till the following May. Sacred Heart Parish had purchased a three-story home from a local Hutterite colony and made plans to have it moved sometime in the future near the site where the school was to be built. In the  meantime, the Sisters would teach in the parish hall and church sacristy or wherever a space for a classroom was available, and they would live in the parish rectory.

The first four Benedictine sisters (as they were commonly known) that arrived in Oyen, Alberta were Sr. Cecilia Socha, superior and homemaker, Sr. Clementine Janicki, piano teacher who would provide private music lessons to pupils in the village, Sr. Mathilda Lucas, teacher and principal (grades;7-9), and Sr. Gerarda Pura, teacher (grades 1-6). Besides teaching, the latter two Sisters took care of the sanctuary and altar linens at the Parish church, prepared the children's choir for both Low and High Masses, went to the  three Mission churches (Sibbald, Youngstown & Sunnybrook, Alberta) each Saturday and Sunday to provide religious instruction to the children. For the first couple of years, these Sisters also provided the janitorial service in the school as the budget was not able to handle the salary for a janitor.

Within a few years the school population grew and soon there was a need for more teachers. By 1963 there were six sisters living in the convent and ministering where needed. In all, 26 Benedictine Sisters continued their various ministries in Oyen and surrounding areas until 1973.

Meanwhile, in 1963 Fr. Molnar was transferred to Calgary to start the new Parish of St. Cecilia in the south west area of the city. Since he was so pleased with the missionary spirit and cooperative work of the Sisters of St. Benedict in Oyen, Alberta, he dared again to send a plea to the new prioress of St. Benedict's Monastery in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Mother Clothilde Kolano. This time his request was for several Sisters to teach in the two R.C. Separate Schools located within the parish boundaries, namely, St. Cecilia's and  St. Matthew's Schools. Initially, five Sisters were sent to establish a convent in Calgary — Sr. Eleanor Grzymalowski (house superior & private kindergarten teacher), Srs. Lioba Broda and Imelda Koldesk (teachers at St. Cecilia's school), Sr. Gregory Koldesk (teacher at St. Matthew's school) and Sr. Christina Wenger (housekeeper).

Following the firm establishment of the second convent in the province of Alberta, the ministry of the Sisters of St. Benedict continued to flourish over the years mainly in the area of education. Their teaching in the two original elementary schools soon expanded  to teaching religion in various elementary, junior high and senior high schools in the Calgary Catholic School system (St. Mary's community school, Bishop Grandin, Bishop O'Byrne, Bishop McNally, St. Rupert's, St. Benedict's, Bishop Kidd, Holy Cross, St. Mary’s High School) as well as working as an itinerant teacher for the Calgary Catholic School Board with special needs children in the area of visually impaired and developmentally delayed students and as a consultant for the developmentally delayed students. Additional works of the Sisters included ministering as Diocesan Liturgical Director at the Calgary Diocesan Liturgical Office; Director of Religious Education and RCIA at St. John's and St. Patrick's parishes; parish ministry as pastoral assistant at St. Patrick's and St. John's parishes; as member of the Diocesan Liturgical Commission; provision of adult religious education in St. James parish, Okotoks and St. Michael's parish in Black Diamond; nursing at the Calgary General Hospital; serving as house attendant at Diakonos House South (a residential house to provide refuge for first responders during difficult personal circumstances) in Calgary and Diakonos House North in Edmonton; and providing spiritual direction, directing retreats and training new spiritual directors at Providence Renewal Centre in Edmonton.

This June 2019, marks the end of an era of Benedictine presence In Alberta. After 45 years of teaching, Sister Dorothy Levandosky is retiring from teaching, returning to her home at St. Benedict’s Monastery in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
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Reflecting on the ministry of the Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict in the province of Alberta over the last 64 years, one can see that their response to a call to Alberta and to the various ministries has come from their discernment to do God's will as a community and as individuals. Their mission to witness Jesus Christ is visible in their contemplative living, provision of hospitality, a daily rhythm of community and personal prayer and their reverencing ministry to all God's people within and beyond their community.
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Sr. Dorothy Levandosky, OSB
This Friday, June 28, 2019, Sr. Dorothy Levandosky, OSB will be heading home to Winnipeg to retire after 45 years of teaching. To contact Sr. Dorothy, click here. 
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Fatherhood Fast Forward

6/6/2019

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The landscape of family roles is challenged by contemporary shifts in our culture and society. Fatherhood is not exempt from the impact of these changes. However, there are promising trends in the lives of faithful men who are called to the vocation of marriage and family.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) affirms the vital role of the father in the family, “The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood; this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents.” (CCC, 2214)  I want to encourage fathers who in striving to be authentic examples for their children live this important calling in our present culture.
 
Statistics Canada reports that there are about 8.5 million fathers in Canada and that in contrast to previous generations, they are beginning to assume a more engaged role in the family. I have witnessed a growing number of fathers becoming more active in their faith life through gatherings such as our annual God Squad Men’s Conference and programs that support men's spiritual growth and fraternity like That Man is You, Exodus 90, and others. Additionally, they are assuming a greater share of the household tasks which reflects the loving, caring face of fatherhood that we see in Scripture.  
 
Inspired by these changes, some fathers are also beginning to reshape the relationship between family and work.  Data from Statistics Canada reveals that in 1976, 1 out of every 70 families with a stay-at-home parent was the father.  By 2015, that number grew to about 1 in 10 fathers representing a significant increase over those years.  For the majority of fathers employed outside of the home, they are striving to balance home and work commitments as a priority. This change in focus is reflected in being more present to their family, supporting the relationships that are essential to its growth and maturity while forging a true masculine identity in their midst.
 
With a deeper focus on prayer, living and witnessing to the Faith, building the strength of the marriage covenant and taking on more day-to-day responsibilities, our fathers are walking in the shadow of St. Joseph.  In 1989, Saint John Paul II issued the Apostolic Exhortation, Guardian of the Redeemer: On the Person and Mission of St. Joseph in the Life of Christ and the Church.  This apostolic exhortation articulates the Catholic understanding of fatherhood and reflects these current promising trends. 
St. Joseph was called by God to serve the person and mission of Jesus directly through the exercise of his fatherhood. It is precisely in this way that, as the Church's Liturgy teaches, he "cooperated in the fullness of time in the great mystery of salvation" and is truly a "minister of salvation." His fatherhood is expressed concretely "in his having made his life a service, a sacrifice to the mystery of the Incarnation and to the redemptive mission connected with it; in having used the legal authority which was his over the Holy Family in order to make a total gift of self, of his life and work; in having turned his human vocation to domestic love into a superhuman oblation of self, an oblation of his heart and all his abilities into love placed at the service of the Messiah growing up in his house." (Redemptoris Custos, 1989, No. 8.)
Pope Francis reemphasized the link between fatherhood and St. Joseph during a papal audience in 2015 saying, “For the younger generations, fathers are the irreplaceable guardians and mediators of faith in the goodness, of faith in the justice, and faith in the protection of God, like Saint Joseph.” In the same year during a series of talks on the family, His Holiness speculated that a wise and mature father would be able to say to his adult children, "I taught you things that you didn't know, I corrected errors that you did not see. I let you feel an affection that was both deep and discreet that perhaps you did not fully recognize when you were young and unsure. I gave you witness of rigor and willpower that perhaps you did not understand when you just wanted complicity and protection."
 
There have been and are many challenges in fulfilling the role of a father in the past, today, and foreseeably, into the future. As I have come to see in my own life, the gift of a father’s presence is both formative and an instrument of blessing.  Let us pray with gratitude for the men of faith in our lives who are loving husbands and fathers, leaders in parishes, wise stewards in communities and above all, humble disciples of Jesus Christ.

Written by Bishop William McGrattan, June 2019

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Most Rev. William McGrattan, Bishop of Calgary
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Fatherhood through the lens of Tim Neufeld

6/6/2019

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Faithfully spoke with Tim Neufeld, based out of Abbotsford, BC. Neufeld first achieved success as the co-founder and lead singer of EMI recording artist STARFIELD. He has toured the world for over a decade, shared the stage with countless Canadian Country, Roots and Christian artists, and won multiple JUNO, Dove, and Covenant Awards. Tim Neufeld has been married for 15 years to Carla and is the father of three children, Haven 10, Oliver 9, and Bowen 6.

What do you love most about being a dad?
Tim: I love sharing my life with my family. Of all the different roles I play in life, the husband/father role is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever known. It’s hard being a father, but in the best sort of way, and it helps me understand more about what love really is. Becoming a father made me a whole person. It made me re-evaluate what’s most important. More than anything, I want to raise good and kind people. I feel blessed to have that responsibility!

What’s it like reuniting with your family after you’ve been on tour?
Tim: It is the most amazing feeling in the world. I’m just completing a two-week tour, and have most of the summer off, so I’m looking forward to some quality time with the kids. Family ice-cream outings, building a tree fort, and Friday movie nights are just a few of the things on the list. I get to do all the things I loved from my childhood all over again through the eyes of my kids... How cool is that?
What are some of the challenges you face as a father?
Tim: As amazing as it can be, there isn’t a day that goes by without some sort of pain in parenting. I have to put the good of everyone else above my own. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to escape; to just let the kids veg out on their screens while I retreat somewhere and do the same. Any amount of time invested into meeting them at their level and simply just ‘playing’ with them, pays incredible dividends.

What message do you want to convey to your children?
Tim: I want my kids to be fearless, to love deeply, and to experience all that life can give them. I want them to be in touch with morality and their mortality. I want to raise children spiritually aligned with who God is and where they fit into the big picture. I want them to respect all people and be kindred spirits with each other. My prayer is that they’d always fight for what is right, and true, and trustworthy... constantly loving from the centre of who they are!

How has your dad inspired you as a father?
Tim: My father is the most moral man I’ve ever met. He has served his family in the most admirable ways. The older I get, the less I take our relationship for granted. We are a product of our parents. 

What words of encouragement do you have for Christian dads?
Tim: For all dads, of any religion, be encouraged! Fatherhood is more than just a physical transaction; it is a spiritual thing. Too many dads leave when it gets tough. Let’s break the cycle. You’ll get back what you put in. Stick with your children, and really get to know them. It is the most rewarding thing you will do in this life.
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Photos courtesy of Tim Neufeld

The new single BLESSED by ‘Tim and the Glory Boys’ is available to listen to HERE.
Written by Nadia Hinds
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Our spiritual father

6/5/2019

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Fr. Timothy Boyle, Vicar for Clergy
Roman Catholic parishioners the world over will spill out of their parish churches on Sunday, June 16 with an especially-cheerful mission. En route to family engagements seasoned with handmade cards and gifts for dads old and new, many will stop to wish their parish priests a heartfelt, “Happy Father’s Day, Father.” 
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It’s a tradition Fr. Tim Boyle of Lethbridge has appreciated since his ordination in 1974. While the secular notion of fatherhood “is a metaphor I never used to understand myself as a priest,” he admits the good wishes are gratefully accepted. 

Deacon Troy Nguyen is at a significantly different place in his priestly vocation. Nguyen, 31, will receive Holy Orders on Friday, June 28, 2019. While he will have to wait a year before he hears the “Happy Father’s Day, Father” of the June greeting, he and Boyle already hold one Father’s Day tradition in common; both of these Calgary-born-and-raised priests use the occasion to thank God for their dads—and to contemplate their roles in the Church.

Are you hungry?

Nguyen says his dad is a man of few words. “But when we’re together at home, he’ll ask me, ‘are you hungry?’ I’ve come to recognize that simple question as an act of love and care. He wants to know if I am OK if I need anything. In some ways, I think I will be asking the people I serve the same question, ‘are you hungry?’ meaning, ‘how can I help, what do you need?’”

It’s an analogy Boyle can appreciate. He remembers his dad with great affection and is thankful for the many fathers he’s met in the parishes he’s worked in across southern Alberta. Like Nguyen, Boyle sees his vocation—and that of the secular dad—as rooted in service to others.

Indeed, that notion of service nurtured Boyle’s calling to the priesthood. He had an uncle who served as a missionary priest. As well, Boyle’s family (his dad and the six children), pulled together to care for their wife and mother after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Volunteering at the old children’s hospital gave Boyle additional frontline experience with service. “Those were some pretty formative experiences. And then I discovered that words have power, and I learned I had some ability to take ideas and give them expression in a way that helped people.” That knowledge, combined with a lifetime of faith practice nourished in his family, brought Boyle into the priesthood. He was ordained at the age of 24.

Nguyen’s journey included a break from seminary studies to finish a Bachelor of Education at the University of Alberta. In addition to teaching, he spent some time in the banking industry. The priestly vocation was “something I found really difficult to do at first,” admits Nguyen. “I felt like I was giving up everything. Now I understand that Jesus is worth giving up everything for. When I see an icon of Jesus on the cross, I realize he’s telling me, ‘God is worth it.’”

As a priest, Nguyen will share that faith with the people he serves in the Calgary Diocese. Now based at St. Peter’s, Nguyen also has strong ties to Calgary’s Vietnamese community. He will be the first Canadian-born Vietnamese priest ordained in this city. “When people I’ve met tell me they hope I can be their father, I know they are talking about my spiritual role in their lives. Still, it’s humbling.”

Boyle’s own role in the Church changed in 2018. Stepping back from the role of the parish priest, he now serves as the Bishop’s Delegate to a Diocesan committee that follows up allegations of sexual abuse and misconduct by clergy. He’s also the Vicar for Clergy, where he helps the Bishop with priest assignments. These are dramatically different roles for the long-time parish priest, but he accepts the challenges with the heart of a willing servant who believes the grace of Christ means “there will always be this core of love to keep His Church alive.” 

In the same way that earthly dads take care of their children, Boyle sees God’s hand in the world. “Life is not in the hands of fate. It’s not in the hands of chance. It’s a divine story that has God as its beginning and God as its ending,” says Boyle.

Nguyen echoes that sentiment. As a priest, he recognizes that his vocation is a gift from God that he can nurture with his faith. “Really, what people are looking for is hope. As a priest, I want to help them find that.”
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Deacon Troy Nguyen will be ordained priest on June 28, 2019 - Feast of Sacred Heart of Jesus

Written by Joy Gregory
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Fr. Cristino Bouvette

6/5/2019

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Which man of faith in the Calgary Diocese inspires you in your vocation as husband and father? Michael Chiasson shared his father figure: 
​This question immediately made me think of my dad, his role and place in my life….However, because my dad recently passed away, I also look at those father figures around. Fr. Cristino Bouvette inspires me. One thing that I’m super thankful for is his heart of prayer, his heart of obedience and his heart of openness. Those three things challenge me as a father because I see him as a young priest that is super faithful, willing to risk for the vocation he’s been entrusted, and it immediately makes me look in the mirror and ask: Am I a man of prayer? Am I obedient to who I’m being called to love? Am I dying to myself? I see that in him so much, and it’s beautifully attractive but scary because — would I be willing to do that? The final part is openness. Something that might not even be his style, (music for example) he sees the heart and how God would use that even though it might not be his specific way.
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Fr. Cristino Bouvette at One Rock
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Michael Chiasson attends St. Michael Catholic Community with his wife and two children. He is a motivational speaker and founder of Access52 based in Calgary. 

Written by Sara Francis
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Phil Morin

6/5/2019

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Which man of faith in the Diocese of Calgary inspires you in your vocation as husband and father? Here is what Mike McKinnon shared: 
​In the last couple of years, I got to know Phil Morin through the men’s group — Repairers of the Breach — and through doing Exodus 90 together. I admire his high expectations for himself in all he does. He really does excel for excellence in a lot of things he does, and that’s also in his faith life. He doesn’t make excuses for himself. He sets a very high bar, and he pushes himself to excel in holiness. I’m not saying he’s excellent in holiness, but he strives for it. I think a lot of men can be too easy on themselves, be complacent and make excuses about why they cannot pursue holiness and that’s not Phil. He really challenges himself. The other thing with Phil I admire is he’s super humble. I think humility is just an awesome thing as a father to teach your children. When someone is humble they understand their greatness is not themselves, it’s a gift from God, and if God chose to remove that, they would not have that greatness. People who are in tune with their greatness don’t give glory to themselves; they give glory to God. I see those things in Phil, and they challenge and inspire me.
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Phil Morin
PictureMichael MacKinnon
Mike MacKinnon attends St. Bonaventure and St. Patrick’s Parish in Calgary with his wife and four children. He works in the oil and gas industry. He sits on the national board for Catholic Christian Outreach and is the founder of Repairers of the Breach, a faith formation group for fathers with young children. 


Written by Sara Francis
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Frank Tholenaer

6/5/2019

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Which man of faith in the Calgary Diocese inspires you in your vocation as husband and father? Joe Woodard shared:
My archetype father is Frank Tholenaer. He’s the guy who with his friend Gordon built the adoration chapel at St. Anthony’s Church. He was a big-burly, hard-working, blue-collar Catholic, but he loved to read — novels! — and hated TV. He was a sheet metal worker who eventually worked as a heating and ventilation foreman. He went to St. Mary’s High School in the 40s. He didn’t mind getting into the occasional fist fight. But later in life he developed a very solid, charitable faith. He was incredibly generous with his time and talented with things like home renovations. In one case he moved in and built us a bedroom in our basement. He raised five kids with his wife, Carol. They met when he was working on his car, and a bucket of gasoline caught fire, and he ended up badly burned, and Carol was the nurse in the emergency ward. They met when he was all puffy and red from this flash gasoline fire. They had a long life together, built a beautiful house in Haysborough and basically to every degree possible dedicated themselves to their parish — St. Anthony’s. He was just always available. Anything that needed doing, Frank was always there doing it, and he attended daily Mass whenever possible. (Frank died peacefully on September 26, 2008, at 3 p.m. at the age of 80)
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† Frank Tholenaer
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​Joe Woodard is a husband, a father of 10 and a grandfather of four (so far). He attends Sacred Heart Parish in Calgary. He has worked as an academic, journalist, citizen judge, and most recently an adjunct philosophy professor at Newman Theological College (Edmonton) and Latin teacher at St. John's Choir Schola (Calgary).

Written by Sara Francis
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James Peloso

6/5/2019

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James Peloso
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Brian Doran
​Which man of faith in the Diocese of Calgary inspires you in their vocation as husband and father? Here is what Brian Doran shared: ​
We have been gifted by so many great men in our diocese that it is very difficult to narrow it down to just one. However, the first one that came to mind was James Peloso. He is an inspiration to me as a husband and father regarding how he brings his faith into all aspects of his life. He is active in our parish, has a beautiful family, and is transforming the world around him by encouraging Christian principles in his own place of work. Although being a business owner is clearly a stressful endeavour, he exudes joy and optimism whenever I speak with him.
Brian Doran attends St. James Parish in Okotoks with his wife and seven children. He works as a family physician and founded the Arcātheos Boys’ Camp. ​

Written by Sara Francis
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Tim Lynn

6/5/2019

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​Which man of faith in the Diocese of Calgary inspires you in their vocation as husband and father? Here is what Sean Lynn said: 

​“That would be my Dad — Tim Lynn. I was raised in the faith here in Calgary. I’ve watched him grow as a man always trying to do the right thing, and he’s passed that on to me. One of the things he says that comes to mind is you have to look at yourself every morning when you shave in the mirror and like the guy that looks back. He’s always taught me to try and do the right thing, and I’ve followed in his footsteps as a police officer. I’ve always looked at that as a vocation, sharing the faith quietly with my actions and how I treat people. No matter what happened in his life, he identified as being Catholic and no situation was going to change that. We all have our struggles in life and holding on to that identity helps us to stay strong. Faith allows us to increase our resiliency or have something to fall back on when going through rough waters. And the number one thing was family. Recently we had four generations of Lynn men going to Mass. I had a picture taken because I saw it as such a blessing to see this legacy of faith.”
Sean Lynn is a husband and father of eight children. He’s worked for the Calgary Police Service as a constable for 31 years. He attends St. Peter’s Parish in Calgary and is co-founder and current president of God Squad Canada. 

Written by Sara Francis
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Sean Lynn (left) with his father, Tim Lynn (middle) and his family.
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Deeds not Words: The involved father

6/5/2019

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Will I be a saint and lead my family to heaven? This is a question I frequently contemplate.

To be a father and husband requires heroism in the face of today’s secular society. God places a great responsibility on fathers. During my discernment as a single man, the thought of having children was the reason I was afraid to pursue the vocation of marriage. I was fearful about bringing children into a society that is morally corrupt and could very likely consume their souls.

Fr. Lasance shares the following regarding the raising of children. He emphasizes on the weight and responsibility by which God entrusts their care: "Married people have another important duty: they must bring up their children in the fear of God. At the day of their last judgement, we who have the care of souls do not fare like private individuals; we have not merely to answer for what we have personally done or left undone, but when we have given an account of this, we shall be asked about the condition of those who have been entrusted in our care. In the same manner, shall fathers and mothers be judged, not only regarding what their own lives have been but also to the manner in which they have brought up their children.”

I was contemplating this sentiment at a retreat held by Christopher West in 2015, and suddenly something clicked. If I wasn’t courageous to take up the challenge of raising holy children, how can I expect other men to maintain the faith through successive generations? The fact that I cared so deeply for the souls of children and their upbringing is the exact reason why I needed to be a father. I knew this was what God was calling me to do. 

St. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it”. When we read this passage, we ought to contemplate what God is calling all husbands to do. Each man is to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ did for his Church. Christ delivered himself through excruciating pain and suffering on his journey to Calvary to be crucified.

While being a father carries burdens, it also brings many joys and consolations. One of the most moving times in my life was when I gazed into the eyes of my son, Joseph shortly after he was born. Watching him grow and learn things for the first time has been very exciting. It melts my heart when he imitates us at mass or spontaneously asks to initiate our family rosary. Daily life is sprinkled with little blessings like these. Now, rather than dwelling too much on how the evils of this world can lure our children, I focus on how I can teach my son to know, love and serve God. This is what it means to be a father. 

As a father, I pray to St. Joseph - head of the Holy Family, for his intercession to be a heroic father and husband. 

​St. Joseph, pray for us. 

Written by John McDonald
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John and his wife Richelle have one son Joseph and are expecting their second child in September. They are members of the Latin Mass Community at St. Anthony’s Parish in Calgary, AB.
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My Papa taught me to be brave

6/5/2019

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Norman Henry Marshall, my Papa [grandfather], was a beacon of joy and love for our family. His laughter was deep and contagious. Papa was assured, kind and intentional. His steadfast love created a retreat for me in my teenager years away from trauma and distress. Papa always saw through the situations we were in or the bumps in the road to the beautiful uniqueness of each person. The love that beamed from his bright blue eyes called me out of fear countless times in my life.  

It is no surprise that he became the rock to my grandma, his five kids, their spouses, his thirteen grandchildren and his six great grandchildren.

My Papa was strong and resilient, in his incredible 85 years he overcame hardship, felt loss, and knew pain. He threaded through each difficulty with valor and kindness. My papa never spoke the language of defeat. Sitting in the living room in the old farmhouse, I remember watching him love my Grandmother. He could turn her tears into laughter by taking her in his arms and singing and dancing. He loved all of us that way. 

My Papa knew how to call us to bravery. He celebrated each one of my children’s births and mourned with me each of my miscarriages. It is hard for me to imagine welcoming my fourth baby in December without him. 
As he aged and his health deteriorated, his commitment to his family never did. We all loved to sit at the table with him and challenge him in crib. I loved how it felt when he would hold my hand. Papa was truly famous. There wasn’t a person he met who wasn’t made better by his existence. I believe you can tell a lot about a person through the reactions of little children to them. Kids loved Papa. My children still do. When I welcomed my eldest son into our family at three, shy and shaken from life’s transitions, Papa instantly became a place of comfort and joy for him. They would sit together in the big recliner and watch hockey games or nap. Papa was wise with his words but even wiser in his silence. He had a way of sitting with us long enough that we could hear God’s little nudges in our hearts. He told me he loved me countless times every day, and the sincerity was always piercing. Papa showed all his family what love was in action. I am forever changed and better because of my Papa. 

The role of grandfather was one that he took with pride. In a time when the role of the man is constantly under scrutiny he lived a life of masculinity that anyone could support; he showed he was strong in his willingness to be gentle, he led from a place of humility, he loved selflessly, always giving of himself without the need for notice. It was easy and comfortable to count on Papa. I miss him constantly. May all his kindness be returned to him as he rests in the peace of the Lord’s love. ​

Written by Amy Heggenstaller-Boon, St. James Parish in Okotoks
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† Norman Henry Marshall
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The unexpected path to fatherhood

6/5/2019

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Having served as a priest early in his life, Lance Dixon says that the slow ramp of becoming a spiritual father had accelerated his learning of how to be a father to his own child.

I must confess my road to fatherhood started off a little shaky. On the day I was to turn 26 years old, I was facing the terrifying reality of becoming a father - but perhaps not in the way one would expect. You see, on that day (All Saints Day, November 1, 1996 to be exact) I was also going to be ordained an Anglican priest, and I simply was not ready for people to call me 'Father' Lance! In fact, I was so determined to avoid this moniker that in my first homily as a priest I vainly urged the congregation, with a little tongue in cheek, to consider calling me 'Sonny’ Lance. (After all, I was the age of most of their children at the time.)
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Of course, the congregation, knowing me quite well by this time, ignored me, causing nothing of the ecclesial revolution I had hoped for. And to be honest, as one would guess, it was not the term at all that terrified me. It was the responsibility that went along with it. To be suddenly thrust into a position of spiritual authority over the life of a community is a daunting call, and I felt the gravitas of what I was taking on increase the closer the day.

Looking back, I am grateful for that terrifying ordeal. Unexpectedly, that experience prepared me for the even greater responsibility of being a father to my children.  You see, as a spiritual father to a congregation, I could go home when I had enough for the day; I could call in sick I just wasn't feeling up to toughing it through another annual garage sale; I could neglect the odd duty, and a host of veteran lay workers would swoop in to fill the gaps. The upside was, that in the midst of these moments of neglect, I slowly learned how to take responsibility for the spiritual life of the congregation, how to be present to others in their time of need, to speak truth in love, to attend to both big and small things as the shepherd of their gifts. 

And thank God I experienced those moments as a spiritual father to others, because in the first weeks after my child's birth, the only thing I could focus on was how completely inadequate I was at parenting! As a father of my own child, I didn't have the luxury of going home when I was tired of hearing the baby cry, or calling in sick when I just didn't feel like changing her diaper in the middle of the night or ignoring a tough decision on how to pay the bills to keep a roof over the head of my growing family.  The slow ramp of becoming a spiritual father had accelerated my learning of how to be a father to my own child. 

When I look back, two things helped me embrace the challenge of being a father for my children. First, in learning how to be a spiritual father to others, I had come to rely on there being grace for every journey we go through - including parenting. Second, what kept me from being overwhelmed by how inadequate I was as a parent, was the complete joy and wonder of that little child in my hands. As I stood there in the middle of the operating room, time stood still, my mind completely enraptured in the miracle I was holding. 

Okay, reality check. I now have countless broken household items, a hundred temper tantrums, and several round trips to the emergency ward between me and that moment. Which is why I’m so grateful when, amid the messiness of parenting, the Spirit nudges me to pause and ponder the wonder-filled gifts my children truly are. 

A little over eight years ago, my time as an Anglican priest came to a close. I continue my faith journey in the Catholic Church, supporting our schools as chaplain and teacher. My three daughters are teenagers now, and they seem to come up with new things for me to have to get my head around. So, in short, I'm still finding my way through parenting. But one thing at least is for certain; I will always find firm ground on the grace and joy that is at the heart of being a father. 
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Dr. Lance Dixon
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