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My first year as a Deacon

2/11/2020

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PictureDeacon Dale Laing at St. Thomas More, Calgary
It’s been more than a year since I was ordained as a Permanent Deacon in the Catholic Church, and what a year it has been! Guiding me during the four-year formation journey was a combination of prayer, effective mentoring, spiritual direction, self-reflection and practical experience.

An instrumental topic to me, and that of my spiritual director, has been the transformation of one’s ego. Every person he says, “whether they are aware of it or not, is engaged from the moment of birth in a titanic struggle to lead a life led by the spirit, or, a life led by the attractions of this world. He is fond of saying, “throughout our entire lives, but most especially a man in formation must grow increasingly aware of these two forces, each clamoring for our attention. One force leads to life, and the other to death”.

The battleground in this great seesaw for our soul is a person’s ego. It can serve as both sword and shield, our greatest ally, or, our greatest enemy. The successful path to life sees the pouring out, a little at a time from our old self (ego), then, filling the void with the love of Christ. Thus, guided by this new mixture of love, we gain greater strength to support our future actions and ministries.

All throughout my life, but especially during my diaconate formation, I came to fully realize the necessity of allowing this constant pouring out and re-filling, as a catalyst to mold myself anew.  Following that which promises life, I opened my heart wide to the workings of the Spirit and allowed my self-identity to shift toward the truth of Christ. Infused with a clearer sense of the necessity of living my life closer to God, I invited my wife and my family to join me in this new reality of love. 

My spiritual director says that formation for a new deacon never stops and once ordained, the deacon must continually be open, and vulnerable, to the revelations which Christ wishes to share with him. A new deacon must continually desire to hold his ego aloft, so that with Christ’s blessing, it may receive further refinement from the Holy Spirit. This willingness to constantly seek to have his ego molded by the Spirit of Christ, this change of heart, is at the very core of diaconal formation he says. Without it, no man can truly serve successfully in the capacity of deacon.
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This continuous transformation of one’s ego is key for us all. We must let go of doing things our own way, and supplant them with God’s way. One must pour out the old self (one’s former worldly attractions) to receive the new from God. Gradually, our willingness to seek Christ over that of the world is God’s goal for us.

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Written by Deacon Laing for Faithfully
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Gingco’s journey from an underground movement to his ordination

12/3/2018

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​With a servant’s heart, Joseph Gingco was pleased to help run the audio-visual equipment when his parish hosted an information meeting about the permanent diaconate back in 2013. Joseph, who has a Bachelor of Computer Science degree from the Philippines, knew his skills would prove helpful. Besides that, the life-long Catholic was curious about the topic.
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Five years later, one of Calgary’s newest deacons believes God used that opportunity to serve to answer one of his prayers.
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"I will seek you"

​When Joseph and his wife moved to Canada, he promised God, “Lord, when we are in Canada, I will seek you. I think Fr. Myles Gaffney’s intention with me was that I would help him that day as he was in charge of vocations in the Diocese and was the director of the Permanent Deacon program. In my heart, I believe God was just waiting for me to open the door.”

Deacon Joseph Gingco was ordained by Calgary Catholic Bishop William McGrattan on Saturday, Nov. 17, 2018. Watching closely were his wife Nirmla and their children, Ian Jay, Lemuel and Leianne Marie.

Joseph and Nirmal were married 26 years ago in the Philippines. Soon after the birth of their first son, they moved to Saudi Arabia, where Nirmla, a registered nurse, found work in a private hospital. That hospital was pleased to also hire Nirmla’s tech-savvy husband.
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Raised in devout families that include a priest (Joseph’s brother) and a nun (Nirmla’s aunt), the couple connected with an underground movement of Christians while in Saudi Arabia. In a country that bans all religions other than a strict form of Islam, they attended secret services in people’s homes, closely following guidelines about how they arrived at and left the home churches.
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​The young family, which included a second son born in Saudi Arabia, moved to Canada on July 8, 1999. Here, Joseph and Nirmla found work in their chosen fields. Church was a central part in the family’s life and all three of their children were altar servers and sang in a church choir. Joseph and Nirmla served as extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist at Sacred Heart Church and got involved with members of a Charismatic community. The family has attended St. Albert the Great Church since 2013 and that’s where he’ll serve the Church.
Joseph admits the diaconate formation program was challenging, especially since his entry into the program coincided with a major emergency surgery and three month’s convalescence for Nirmla. Juggling a critical role as her caregiver, three kids and a full-time job—plus online courses and monthly seminars—often seemed daunting. 

Looking back, he’s grateful for all that he learned and says his “tech guy” communications skills took a giant leap forward. Looking ahead, he admits to excitement and trepidation as he figures out how to serve the Church and his family.

Beside him, Nirmla smiles. She shares Joseph’s commitment to the Permanent Deacon program—and their family. Now working as an RN in cardiac care at the South Health Campus Hospital after years in palliative care at the Rockyview, she admits to being less of a worrier than her husband. And that strength serves Joseph in his new vocation. Following Nirmla’s lead, “I’m learning to trust Him and not worry so much,” says Joseph.
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The journey may be new and uncertain, but their faith holds true. They will follow Jesus, the Holy Spirit will guide and God will provide.

​Written by: Joy Gregory
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Wedding day | Joseph & Nirmla Gingco
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Boy-meets-girl-becomes deacon

12/3/2018

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Susan Laing remembers the Saturday afternoon in the mid-1990s that her husband decided to attend mass with her and their three children. Although they met at a dance held in a Catholic church she attended in Calgary—and were married in that same church— formal conversion to Catholicism was never on Dale’s short list of things he needed to do to be a good husband and father.

Baptized in the Anglican Church, Dale attended the United Church while growing up in Calgary’s Parkdale community. By the time he accepted a co-worker’s invitation to a dance to meet her sister, he was secure in his belief in God, but not given to the practice of faith. Over time, Dale saw the value of Susan’s witness to the Catholic faith. He joined the RCIA program and was confirmed in 2003.
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The couple remembers how some parishioners were surprised to learn Dale had joined the RCIA process at St. Thomas More. Susan, a cradle Catholic, was active as an RCIA sponsor, while Dale was on the Finance Council. Over the years, they were involved in many ministries ranging from church cleaning to hospitality after mass (serving coffee). 
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“I looked for ministries we could do as a family,” recalls Susan. Consequently, “A lot of people just assumed I was Catholic,” says Dale. After Dale was confirmed, the list of ministries they were part of grew to include service as lectors and commentators, Extraordinary Ministers of Communion and coordinating First Conciliation. Dale has also been involved with Together in Action and the Society of St. Vincent de Paul.

Dale remembers the day his formal conversion took another sharp turn. “About two weeks after I was confirmed, my daughter and I were coming to mass together and she asked, ‘So what’s next on your spiritual journey now that you’re Catholic?’” His response: “maybe I’ll become a Deacon.”
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Now a grandfather of three, Dale was ordained a Permanent Deacon of the Calgary Catholic Diocese on Saturday, November 17, 2018. He looks forward to serving at St. Thomas More parish, where Susan has attended Catholic mass since the couple married in 1982.
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God's call

The call to become a Permanent Deacon began soon after Dale’s confirmation. “I dismissed it out of hand, but over the years, the thought was whispered into the ears of my mind, sometimes even at 2 a.m.,” says Dale. Eight years ago, another deacon serving at St. Thomas More approached him after mass and asked him if he’d thought about becoming a Permanent Deacon. 

Suddenly, the whisper had a voice—and that voice revealed the path to a new vocation.

Both spouses are part of the rigorous formation process that leads to the husband being ordained as a Permanent Deacon. The first weekend of that process “was a bit overwhelming,” admits Susan, who works in the business office at Bishop McNally High School. “All the way through the process you’re discussing what you’ve learned and processing what that means in your own lives. But after a while, you learn to trust in God’s plan for you. It gets easier.”

Her husband agrees. “You absorb ideas from sitting in the pews and listening to the readings and homilies. But the Permanent Diaconate process goes so much deeper and it changes how you understand the Church and its teachings.”
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Dale, who manages one of the many parts departments at the City of Calgary, says he’s still learning what his new role at St. Thomas More demands. Sitting in the church narthex, he points to a display of flags that represents the diversity of a parish whose people come from more than 80 different nations. The soft-spoken grandfather of three knows this is a special place—and having raised three kids in the pews of this church, he’s excited about what lies ahead.

“I can now see the progression of God’s hand in my calling, from a simple thought to midnight urgings, to other people recognizing the light of Christ within me, to my joining my voice with that of Mary in saying ‘Yes’ to God’s call,” says Dale.

Written by: Joy Gregory
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