Like mother, like daughter

Danielle Tomiak (Sacred Heart Parish, Calgary) is quick to admit that the adage ‘like mother, like daughter’ rings true for her and her own mother, Tracy Tomiak. 

“Our temperaments are kind of the same. Our reactions are kind of the same. As I continue to grow up, I hear myself sounding like her. And we look very much alike. It’s cool to have that connection with my mom,” said Danielle, the fourth of five siblings. 

They will even be brides at the same age. Tracy was 23 when she married her husband Bill Tomiak 30 years ago, and Danielle will be 23 when she marries Nathaniel de Jesus this June. As Danielle prepares for her vocation, she’s reflects on how her mother has been a model of both strength and femininity throughout her life.

Many don’t know that Tracy suffers from chronic pain after her car was rear-ended 15 years ago. 

“She used her suffering and united it to Christ for the greater glory of our family. She accepted it and turned it into something good. She used her struggles and her weaknesses and turned them into strength,” said Danielle, a parishioner at Sacred Heart Church.

Tracy, a member of Holy Name Parish, went on to achieve her masters in counselling and now runs her own marriage and family counselling practice.

“My mom is a powerhouse. In my eyes, she is the view of feminism in the world today. She’s fought for her (counselling) career not because ‘I’m a woman, I deserve a career’ but because she wants to help people and love people through her own feminine genius,” said Danielle.  

But for most of Tracy’s adult life, she worked inside the home raising four daughters and one son, now aged 21 to 29. And she is now active in the lives of her two young grandchildren. 

As her children, “we are all very different but my mom has loved us in all our differences,” said Danielle. “She has shown me how to receive love as a woman from a man, and how to love tenderly as a woman, and how to own my femininity and not to be afraid of who I am and who God made me to be.”  

Danielle describes her mother as having been a popular high school student, captain of all the sports teams, and a participant in her small town parades. Tracy converted to Catholicism a few years after high school graduation, before her marriage. It’s hard for Danielle to picture a time when her mom wasn’t a devout Catholic. Relationships are what matters most to Tracy: her relationship with God, her family and community.

“She loves bringing people together. She brings everyone into the home constantly,” said Danielle. “She loves spending time with her family. She would do that over anything else.”

Tracy Tomiak

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Written by Sara Francis