ROMAN CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF CALGARY
  • Blog
  • About
  • Give
  • News & Events
  • Ministries
  • Contact Us
  • Parish Finder
Picture

God never left me

3/10/2020

1 Comment

 
PictureJeannette Nixon
God is always waiting for our conversion to his mercy and love. For a large portion of my life I was haunted with the darkness of childhood abuse. This is my journey into God’s call and falling into His overflowing grace. As a five-year-old child I was playing in our local playground with children from the local church. When they left, I went home and asked my mother if I could go to church. My mother said I could go with the neighbours, but I wasn’t brave enough to go. 
Later, I attended a Catholic high school because my mother believed in academics. In Grade 12, I completed a water pollution project for a Religion class and received a mark of 98%. From that moment, I believed that my vocation would be in the Sciences. That same year (1972), at the age of 17, I became pregnant and consented to an abortion supported by both sets of parents (Catholic and non-Catholic). The day I had the abortion I shut the door on God! I believed I was not worthy of His love; I had killed my own child. By this time, the darkness of my childhood abuse and the weight of an abortion had left my soul in complete darkness. The mask I continued to wear could not hide the pain, and I struggled. I knew one day that the darkness would envelope me and I would end my life: the pain of my soul too unbearable. 

With a husband and my daughter my world was unravelling; filled with anger, guilt and darkness. I was asked to become a Catholic so my daughter could continue to attend a Catholic school. To me, it was nothing more than a course, I was never going to be a Catholic. But God had other plans. What I could not or would not do for myself, I would do for my daughter. It was the 3rd scrutiny during the Purification and Enlightenment process that things began to change. Prior to this Scrutiny, I had gone to Reconciliation and confessed my sins. God has an eraser of grace; He forgave me; the door of grace flooded opened. During the 3rd Scrutiny, in his fatherly love, the late Fr. Keith Sorge let me touch his vestments and I fell into the wellspring of God’s love. The search out of the darkness of my soul began, but it was only after a severe leg injury (run over by an ATV) that I could face the overwhelming pain and terror of childhood sexual abuse. The cry of the poor—that is what God hears in our prayers. 

In gratitude for God’s grace, I became involved with the RCIA, Project Rachel, CWL, Hike for Life, Eucharistic Ministries and Lector ministries. I obtained a Master’s from Newman Theological College (Edmonton) focusing on Pope Francis’ Laudato Si’. Today, I am currently raising the awareness of Care for Our Common Home and Food Loss and Waste (FLW) through a CWL resolution and presentation to politicians and Catholic organizations. God had never left my side nor stopped calling me into His grace as I am a testimony to His love.  


Written by Jeannette Nixon, St. Patrick’s Parish Calgary.
1 Comment
Gayleen Hamilton
5/26/2020 07:39:45 pm

Jeannette,
You touched my heart with your ability to lay bare your woundedness in your own heart and soul. When you accepted the gifts with which the Holy Spirit blessed you, you became a blessing for others.
Shalom, my friend.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Catholic Pastoral Centre Staff and Guest Writers

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018

    Categories

    All
    Advent & Christmas
    Art
    Bereavement
    Bishop Emeritus Henry
    Bishop McGrattan
    Book Review
    Care For Creation
    Catechetics
    Catholic Charities & Development
    Catholic Education
    Catholic Schools
    CCCB
    Christian Unity
    Climate Change
    Consecrated Virgin
    Conversion
    Covid 19
    Culture
    CWL
    Development & Peace
    Devotions
    Diocesan Event
    Discipleship
    Ecumenical
    Elizabeth House
    Environment
    Euthanasia
    Evangelization
    Faithful Living
    Faithfully
    Family
    Feed The Hungry
    From The Bishop's Office
    Fundraising
    Funeral
    Grieving
    Health
    Health Care
    Homelessness
    Indigenous
    In Memoriam
    Interfaith
    Jubilarians
    Lay Associations
    Lent
    Lent & Easter
    Liturgy
    Marian
    Marriage
    Mary
    Mass
    Mental Health
    Migrants
    Miscarriage
    Mission Mexico
    Movie Review
    Music
    One Rock
    Online Formation
    Ordination
    Parenting
    Parish Life
    Pastoral Care
    Pastoral Visit
    Permanent Diaconate
    Pope
    Pope Francis
    Prayer
    Pray For Peace
    Priesthood
    Prolife
    RCIA
    Reconciliation
    Refugee
    Religious Education
    Religious Freedom
    Religious Life
    Resources And Guidelines
    Sacred Art
    Safe Environment
    Saints
    Scripture & Reflection
    Seniors
    Social Justice
    Stewardship
    St. Joseph
    Synod
    Vocation
    Youth And Young Adults
    Youth Ministry

    RSS Feed

GET TO KNOW US
Our Bishop
Offices & Ministries
​Our Staff
Read our Blog
Catholic Community
​Lay Associations
CONNECT WITH US
Contact us
​Careers
​Parish Boundaries

News & Events
Faithfully
​Reporting Abuse
NEED INFO ON
Becoming Catholic
Marriage Preparation
​Vocations
Annulment 
Sacraments Prep
Catholic Funeral
GIVE TO
Diocesan Ministries
Together in Action
Feed the Hungry
Elizabeth House
Your Parish Church​ 
​Other Ministry

Catholic Pastoral Centre  | 120 - 17th Ave SW, Calgary, AB  T2S 2T2 | ​Phone: 403-218-5500 | communications@calgarydiocese.ca
Charitable Number: 
10790-9939-RR0076​. Donate Now.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Give
  • News & Events
  • Ministries
  • Contact Us
  • Parish Finder