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Where are you in your miscarriage journey?
This is a working document. [Once the resources are confirmed, the following options will be linked to the appropriate subheadings below]
I just found out that I’m miscarrying
- I’m seeking medical advice.
Please contact your doctor. In case of emergency, call 911, or Healthlink at 811 for non-emergency. You can also visit the following sites from the Alberta Health Services:- Alberta Health resources on Miscarriage | Stillbirth
- How to care for my baby’s remains?
- What are my options for burial or cremation for my baby?
- What are my options in rituals and prayers?
- I need resources on coping with grief or mourning
- Other resources
I have already miscarried
- I do have my baby’s remains
- Appropriate ways to inter my Baby’s remains?
- Burial or cremations for your baby
- I don’t have my baby’s remain
- Rituals and Prayers
- I need resources on coping with grief or mourning
Someone I know had a miscarriage
- How to support grieving parents
- Coping with grief or mourning
- Resources
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“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works! My very self you know. My bones are not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me unformed; in your book all are written down. My days were shaped, before one came to be.
How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sands; when I complete them, still you are with me.” |
- Psalm 139: 13-1
Caring for your baby's remains
“From the moment of conception, the life of every human being is to be respected in an absolute way (...); his whole being bears the image of the Creator.” (Donum Vitae, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Introduction no. 5.
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[Intro paragraph]
What happens to my baby’s remains if I deliver at a hospital in the Calgary Zone?
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We understand that in some cases it may not be possible to find or retrieve the baby’s remains.
What are appropriate ways to inter your Baby's remains?
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Burial options for miscarried and stillborn babies in the Diocese
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5
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[Intro blurb]
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Coping with grief or mourning
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:5
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[Blurb: the importance of getting community support, validation of grief]
In the Calgary and surrounding area please reach out to:
Many Calgary and surrounding area Parishes also have:
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The Calgary Diocese has available:
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The question of Baptism
I have called you by name, you are mine.” |
In many instances of early childhood loss there is no possibility to administer the sacrament of Baptism prior to the death of the child. If a child is alive, the child is to be baptized if this is possible (CIC< Can 871). However, when the child has already died, baptism should not be administered, since the sacraments are for the living. What becomes of a child who dies in utero is a profound mystery rooted in the reality of original sin. Jesus’ instruction to baptize, and God’s desire to save all people. The Church’s teaching is very consoling for parents who have had miscarriages or who have suffered the deaths of young children before they were baptized. Paragraph #1261 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses the status of children who die without Baptism: As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say ‘Let them come to me, do not hinder them’ allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without baptism.” CCC#1261
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While Baptism is ordinarily required for salvation, the Church recognizes that God is not bound by His sacraments and can still bring about the salvation of the unbaptized. In this vein, the Church has recognized the desire for Baptism as having the same effects of sacramental Baptism when circumstances prevent the actual administration of the sacrament (CCC 1258-60)
Just as an adult who is invincibly ignorant of the need for Baptism may be saved through an implicit Baptism of desire, even more can we hope that an infant who died without Baptism may be saved. |
St. Bernard of Clairvaux, a Doctor of the Church, said in response to parents asking about the fate of their miscarried child:
Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for the child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb - were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of Baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.” St. Bernard of Clairvaux |
Read: The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptized (Vatican)
Source: Pregnancy & Early Infant Loss: A Handbook for Parents, Syracuse Diocesan Website. Used with permission.
Source: Pregnancy & Early Infant Loss: A Handbook for Parents, Syracuse Diocesan Website. Used with permission.
Prayers, Saints and Reflections
Below are the rituals our Church prepare for our miscarried or stillbirth infant [Lia - list ritual resources form Order of Funeral & equivalent prayer services]
https://dbqarch.org/beholdyourchild
From the Saints
“We shall find our little ones again up above.” St. Zelie Martin
Seek intercession from the following Saints below:
- Vigil of Funeral of Children who died before baptism
- Funeral of Children who died before baptism
- Memorial Service for miscarried or stillbirth infant - for Parish or Diocesan Service [Lia - pdf]
- Naming Ceremonies:
- Naming and Memorial Service- PDF (from Saskatoon Diocese)
- Order for the Naming and Commendation of an Infant Who Died Before Birth (St. Louis)
- Blessing of Parents after a Miscarriage or Stillbirth (USCCB)
- Prayer to avoid a miscarriage to St. Catherine of Siena (Catholic Doors)
- Miscarriage Prayer (Mother M. Angelica)
https://dbqarch.org/beholdyourchild
From the Saints
“We shall find our little ones again up above.” St. Zelie Martin
Seek intercession from the following Saints below:
- St. Gerard Majella - Patron Saint of expectant mothers, women in childbirth, and motherhood
- St. Catherine of Siena - Patron Saint of Miscarriages
- St. Catherine of Sweden - Patron Saint for those who have suffered miscarriage
- St. Gianna Beretta Molla - Patron Saint of expectant mothers, women in childbirth, and motherhood
- Our Lady of Guadalupe - Patroness of the Unborn
- St Joseph - Patron of the Unborn
Supporting Grieving Parents
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15 |
[Intro]
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What to say
What you can do
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What not to say
What to expect
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