Find out why the term “Annulment” is problematic and why it’s not the same as the Declaration of Nullity. Watch this brief video with Fr. Mark-Mary. It takes three to make a marriage: man, woman, and God. It only takes one for marriages to fail. Consider this… He answered, “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female’, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”. Matthew 19:4-6 All things beautiful last forever, and beauty involves joy, hardships, mutual self-giving, and sacrifice.
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Perhaps you have gone through difficult times and received unhelpful but well-meaning comments. Maybe you just heard yourself say something that didn’t come across as well as you thought it would as you tried to console someone. Watch this video and learn some tips on knowing the right things to say as a personal mini sensitivity training.
Five o’clock. First light was beginning to peek through the blinds of our fifth wheel camper. I pushed past the temptation to remain snuggled under the blanket and forced myself out of bed. I was going to do it - I was going to climb a mountain (okay, a hill) to watch a sunrise and sit in the presence of my Heavenly Father. My family was spending the first week of August at Dinosaur Provincial Park, joining my in-laws for a four-day adventure in the hoodoos. Our first evening at Dinosaur Park, we’d trekked to the highest point to get a full 360 of the oddly picturesque World Heritage Site. It’s an incredible anomaly among the flattest of prairie, and it’s one of the most breathtaking landscapes I’ve ever experienced. Anybody who’s been to Dinosaur Provincial Park, 43 kilometers northeast of Brooks, knows exactly what I’m talking about: after driving through miles of prairie, the world suddenly opens up. Sandstone-striped hills, hiding who knows how many millions of fossils, seem to go on forever. Standing at the top of the mountain (okay, again, hill) and breathing in the majesty of God’s creation, I had the bright idea to climb again one morning during our trip to take in a prairie sunrise over the hoodoos and hills. Our first night camping was fraught with high winds, deafening thunder, and sheet lightning, which encouraged me to sleep in snugly that first morning (cozied up to my nine-year-old daughter, who tucked in with us at the first roll of thunder.) The following day, however, my internal alarm went off three times before I finally arose to first light at 5 am, pulled on a hoodie, and quietly slipped out of our camper while the rest of my family snoozed away. It was quiet and dark enough that I felt a little bit disconcerted (I’ve seen a rattlesnake or two at the park), but as I began my ascent, my desire to be with God on a mountaintop (hoo-doo top?) outweighed my fear. The climb was steep and slippery in running shoes, and I laughed at myself as I huffed and puffed towards the top, bolstered by Al McGuire’s quote: “There’s no one who’s dropped on top of the mountain. You’ve got to work your way to the top.” After slips and slides and gratitude that I had no witnesses, I arrived at the apex, took a deep breath, looked around, and prayed: Lord Jesus Christ, Take all my freedom, My memory, My understanding, And my will. All that I have and cherish You have given me. I surrender it all to be guided by Your will. Your grace and love and wealth enough for me. Give me these, Lord Jesus, And I ask for nothing more. Amen. I’d never heard Saint Ignatius of Loyola’s prayer until Father Raul Hernandez, former pastor of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Brooks, introduced me to it. It’s a prayer that I hold dear to my heart; it’s the prayer that I turn to most often, especially when I’m experiencing something uncomfortable or discouraging. I’m writing about a mountaintop experience, which juxtaposes quite jarringly with the valleys my soul had been experiencing as of late. I’d been suffering from bouts of crippling anxiety since school let out. When I’m not teaching, my mental health tends to take a dip - I slug through the valleys of dark days, sustained prayer and platitudes (as well as adherence to exercise and diet.) God has given me many tools to help me keep my head above water when anxiety sets in. When I’d finally made it to the top of the hill, I realized that I wasn’t alone: having neglected a good dose of Deet, I was joined by mosquitos, happy to keep me company as I attempted to pray and settle quietly into God’s presence. It was almost laughable - I’d stolen a moment to myself to be still, and I was busily swatting away the most loathesome of insects. It was tempting to sink into defeat, something that anxiety preys on greedily, but my repeated dedication to Jesus kept me mountaintop for over an hour. Praying… and swatting. I watched the sandstone ground warm from grey to brown as the slow light began spreading its way westward over the hills, painting everything the colour of morning. I listened to coyotes howl from the south, answered by packs from the north. I watched a flock of Canada geese in their V formation, and listened to birds honk along the shores of the Red Deer River. I sank into the majesty of God’s kingdom here on Earth. Mosquitoes and all, it was a literal mountaintop (okay, hilltop) experience. On August 6, we celebrated the Feast of the Transfiguration. After I shared that I was writing about my mountaintop morning, a dear friend of mine noted how, when prompted by Peter to set up camp at the top of the mountain, Jesus and His disciples came back down shortly after. They didn’t even stick around much longer after God acknowledged His Son. “We can’t stay in the mountaintop experiences. Even the disciples didn’t,” she noted sagely. She then asked, “what kind of transfiguration did you experience that morning?” My mountain morning allowed for a transfiguration of my hurting heart. Anxiety doesn’t just slip away at will, but God always brings me back to His love, despite the temptation to despair. Climbing the mountain may not have entirely quelled my anxiety, but I was reminded of God’s great love for me as He painted the skies, and I returned to my family with an assuaged soul (and a million mosquito bites.) His grace and his love were in abundance that morning. Give me these, Lord Jesus, and I ask for nothing more. Amen.
I remember the day a girl about my height with jet black hair bounded up my driveway asking to play. I was about five years old and shy. Lori was a high energy, outgoing six-year-old and we quickly became friends. For the next three years we had adventures, playing hide and seek and other childhood pastimes, sometimes getting into mischief together. In upper elementary, I remember finding out that the reason Lori acted differently is because she had fetal alcohol syndrome. But as young children that difference never factored in, in fact, in my eyes she was exciting and fun to be around. Knowing Lori was a gift I received early in my life. I’ve carried the memories we made together with me ever since. And I carried her in my heart as I made the pilgrimage from my home in Calgary to Edmonton for the Papal Mass on July 26, 2022. I prayed for Lori, one of my first best friends, an Indigenous girl who was innocently sentenced to a life clouded by the effects of a preventable syndrome. Lori was adopted and while she never attended residential school, it’s likely someone from her family tree had spent time at one of these schools. To me, her situation is an example from my own lived experience of the repercussions of residential schools felt through the generations. When we arrived at Commonwealth Stadium, the first thing we did was take a family photo to remember our family pilgrimage as we will continue to unpack its significance in the years to come. Next we found our seats, and while waiting for the Papal Mass to begin I noticed four middle-aged women sitting behind me wearing Every Child Matters orange and black t-shirts. Among them was Kelly Spooner who was not herself Indigenous, but came to honour the memory of her uncle (through marriage) who died in 2019 and attended residential school for six years. “I came for strength and to renew my spirit. It’s a part of history today,” said Kelly Spooner. Not long after, the Pope rode around the stadium greeting the crowd. Kelly ran down to the front gate to get a closer look. After he passed by she came back in tears, saying “I’m so happy he’s here.” As the pre-Mass program was wrapping up, emcee Janelle Reinhardt asked the crowd to keep a prayerful silence. “The stadium truly became silent, it was powerful and profound, you could only hear the humming of the buildings. It was impressive in a crowd so large,” said Amber Franco, reflecting on this poignant moment. She drove from Calgary to Edmonton with her husband Mike and seven children. Calgary Bishop William McGrattan also took note of the prayerful atmosphere as he looked up into the crowd from ground level. “When we entered in the procession for Mass and I saw the number of people on the field and in the stands you had this sense of the presence of Christ in those who had gathered to be with the Holy Father,” said Bishop McGrattan. The Papal Mass was celebrated on the feast of St. Joachim and St. Anne – the grandparents of Jesus. Pope Francis used this opportunity to speak about the importance of grandparents and family cohesion during his homily. “This message was simple, but one that everyone could receive and appreciate,” said Bishop McGrattan. “The message of a pastor who himself was advanced in age and not afraid to show the signs of declining mobility, and the need for assistance, which is experienced in every family.” Like any good pilgrimage, there are challenging moments and as we sat in the bleachers listening to Pope Francis our children began to get a bit restless in the blistering heat. I turned my own discomfort into a small offering toward reconciliation, all the while my heart growing in gratitude for the heroic effort of our 85-year-old pontiff. I thought this was a generous gesture toward reconciliation simply by showing up and “taking the heat” with us in every sense of the phrase. But I was also humbled by the elders some 80 years and up who had made the pilgrimage from various parts of the country also suffering their own discomforts in an attempt to heal and move forward. My own father Deacon Richard Loftson accompanied a group of Indigenous pilgrims from Manitoba on behalf of the Archdiocese of St. Boniface. He ministers to the St. Kateri Tekakwitha Indigenous Parish in Winnipeg. “They were thankful for the apology. They were emotional, in tears many of them. They had been waiting for so long,” said Deacon Loftson. Bishop McGrattan also sought feedback as he encountered people affected by residential schools. “In talking to some survivors at the various events, it was difficult for some to hear and relive these memories. For others, there was a sense of recognition that they were listened to by Pope Francis and that his words and actions were genuine in their eyes,” said Bishop McGrattan. Like many things, the future lies with the children in hopes they will learn from history and build a more just and merciful society where no child will ever again suffer the consequences of being forced to leave their family and lose their culture and heritage. This is why our friends Alissa and Konrad Paley of Calgary also made the pilgrimage with their three young daughters (six years and under) to the Papal Mass with the same intention as our family: to build a culture of goodwill and reconciliation in their home. “Participating in this particular Papal Mass was really important as a Catholic and a Canadian,” said Alissa Paley. “The Church is made up of the people, we are the people of the Church. In order for the Church to work towards reconciliation we must show up.” “I was honoured to bring my daughters with me. I know that they currently don’t understand the gravity of this event, but I hope as they grow up they may continue to pray for the journey toward reconciliation in this country.” My thoughts have turned toward the child during this pilgrimage. Just like my friend Lori who did nothing to deserve the circumstances she inherited as a child, neither did I deserve the family and opportunities I have been afforded. Everything is a gift. In gratitude, I left Edmonton pondering how I can use the time I have left to seek holiness by laying down my life for my friends. == More photos from our Diocesan families during the Papal Mass (click "all comments")
Let us minister together to ensure no one lives in isolation and loneliness. This Sunday, July 24, we invite you to take a step forward in co-creating compassionate communities that see relationship and accompaniment with the elderly and grandparents as a normal part of family, neighbourhood, parish, and communal life.
One of the most interesting things I learned from my Gong Gong, which is Chinese for “grandpa”, was that he grew up as the tenth child in his family. That came as a profound struggle for him since his family wasn’t well-off, and as the tenth child he usually perceived or felt the lack of parental comfort that his older siblings would get more regularly. He told me this story because I, on the other hand, have grown up as an only child. This difference in growing up is how a lot of my conversations with him have centered around life advice founded in the principles of gratitude, perseverance, and honesty. I am only able to see him in person every summer for about a week or so, and I take his lessons to heart, especially now that I have been unable to go visit him in precaution of his health. Gratitude was the first and often returned to principle that my conversations with my grandpa would go. Primarily since I was an only child, I had no siblings to worry or quarrel with regarding attention or care from my parents, which is why my grandpa instilled into me how wholly grateful I should be when I’m looked after regarding all matters of my life: food and water, shelter, education, and most importantly, a parental devotion to forming my initial relationship with God. Since my grandpa told me tales of feeling neglect, I understand that he instilled this value into me because he wanted to emphasize how extremely blessed I am and should never take it for granted. There still are, unfortunately, times when I do take blessings for granted. However, this is where the principle of perseverance becomes critically important. I have to admit and take responsibility for arguments and mistakes I make, which is embodied by the occasions where I would argue with my grandpa since I couldn’t quite understand what he was talking about. The key takeaway from these admittedly unpleasant interactions is that after I apologize and more closely listen to him, I do not beat myself up over the argument or misunderstanding. This also goes for when I am trying to convey something to him; something that I perhaps have great difficulty explaining to him in a way he can understand, and the perseverance he helped instill in me allows me to find that way. I still cannot imagine how much he had to persevere as the tenth child in order to make his views or opinion known to his parents. This perseverance can then be carried over to many other pursuits in my life such as education and career. As I’ve discussed with my grandpa, these two principles of gratitude and perseverance become tightly interwoven with the principle of honesty. Gratitude for blessings must be genuine, it cannot be flippant or sarcastic as that is not only disingenuous, but also a new source for arguments or making ungratefulness even more apparent. When it comes to perseverance, my grandpa helped me to draw a line between the two unhelpful extremes: giving up or setting boundaries too early, or not setting proper boundaries for myself. Honesty is required to temper both extremes and find a proper balance. For example, a particular lesson my grandpa gave me over one summer vacation was regarding the emotional drama that I found myself wrapped up in during my high school years. He told me that it was good that I wanted to do my best to help my friends through the drama, but that it should not come at a cost to my own emotional well-being. I realized after that particular conversation that I had to give up and properly step away from the emotional turmoil I had gotten entangled in during high school; and that ended up preserving my emotional health so that I could graduate from high school. I haven’t been able to visit my grandpa in a long time, and even though we do video calls and occasionally send emails, nothing is comparable to being able to physically talk with him face to face. In honour of 2022’s World Day for Grandparents & the Elderly, I wish to convey my heartfelt gratitude to my grandpa for all the lessons and advice he has given me so far in life. I pray to be able to visit him again soon and catch up on all the time we’ve missed.
Dads, as we gear up for Father’s Day, let’s take a moment to watch this video and see if we can find a fresh perspective on fatherhood or a new inspiration to step up our game! Thank you for always trying to be the best dad that you can be! Have a wonderful time with your family on Father’s Day.
I was born and raised in a Catholic home. I remember attending church with my parents but I sensed early on as a young child that my father was not living out his vocation and role as a husband and father. My father was an alcoholic, and because of his addiction, he was unable to be fully present to his family, or to teach me and prepare me for life the way a young boy needed. I missed out on having a personal relationship with my father, on experiencing his love and acceptance. I was not given a proper example of how I should conduct myself as a mature person. Having personally experienced what life was like with an alcoholic father, I told myself many times that I would be different towards my own family, that there would be joy and love, mutual understanding and peace in the home; the very things that were missing in my own home and upbringing. After I got married and started my own family, I came to realize that things were not so easy as I had imagined them to be. I struggled with dealing with my obligations as a husband, father, and provider. Often times alcohol served as a comfort and means to deal with daily challenges, but then it was followed by feelings of guilt, remorse, bitterness, and regret. Even hatred towards my father would surface for not having prepared me for life’s circumstances. I grieved over my father’s inability to model for me how to be a good husband, father, and man. I was terrified and panicked by the fact that I was becoming just like my father. I sought solace through alcohol, and of course, that made things worse. While moving through life in this way, I longed for something more. I sensed that there was more. I owe so much to my wife, who kept our family together, and never stopped believing that things could be different, better… that I could become the man she knew I could be. I knew that I needed help. I knew that the future wellbeing of my family, marriage, and the good of my 3 children depended on me becoming the man God called me to be. but at the same time feeling I couldn’t do it by myself. I needed help and direction. I needed God, and a renewed sense of faith and prayer to rise above the pain, hurts, resentment, and challenges. Having exhausted various avenues, I cried out to God for help. It was then in the experience of powerlessness and sincere sorrow that God answered the call of my heart. He sent a friend my way who then reintroduced me to God and His mercy, to the loving protection of our Mother Mary, and who invited me to model my life after the example of St. Joseph in my call to be father, and to model our family after the example of the Holy Family. It has been a long journey, but ever-grateful to the Lord, I am happy to share that I am alcohol-free for the last seven years. There have been many good days, tougher days, but I am better equipped to deal with them than ever before. My wife and I have been engaged in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, and the experience of the Spirit’s current of grace has been life-transforming. Not only have I come to know Jesus in a personal and intimate way, received a new and ongoing outpouring of the Spirit, discovered that I am loved by my Heavenly Father, but through this new life in the Spirit, I have come to terms with my past, and have been given the grace to forgive and pray for the eternal repose of my earthly father. I have come to know God and that He is with me always, and that with Him all things are possible. Thanks to God, my relationships with my wife and children have improved and I have become a better husband and father, and that my family can count and rely on me. Recently my wife shared with me that I remind her of St. Joseph! Yes, with God, all things are possible, all things are made new.
With summer just around the corner, check out the list of Summer camps below that will leave your children with lasting memories of fun and faith:
Did we miss any? If your parish or lay association is organizing a Summer Camp, or Vacation Bible School, please contact communications@calgarydiocese.ca It is a beautiful thing to birth a baby and nurture a child through life. Motherhood, which is arguably the pinnacle of the experience of being a woman – whether through birth, adoption or spiritual motherhood – is highly underrated in the mainstream. We know that women are essential to life giving love, and with the example of Our Lady, women walk this journey in dignity and strength. But women who come through adverse circumstances are almost a truer testimony to the strength of character and the resolve that it takes to be a mother. Add a global pandemic, and you’ve got a myriad more problems to work through. Michelle Haywood is the program manager at Elizabeth House. Listening to her speak of what she has witnessed at one of Calgary’s a homes for pregnant women at risk, was balm for the soul as she told success stories of the women who resided there in the past 2 years. “They are coming to us in crisis, and they’re leaving with sometimes a whole lot more confidence and resourcing than they came in with. They have to decide – its that choice that they made to do it and they’ve got to work hard to make this happen. I’m seeing dogged ethic and determination in every woman in her own way.” I often imagine Our Lady in her own adverse circumstances, and am thankful for the relative ease with which I’ve raised my children by comparison. But Our Lady has special meaning for Michelle and Elizabeth House: In its original location in an historic building in the heart of the city, Elizabeth House, founded by the Sisters of Charity of St. Louis, had a grotto with a statue of Our Lady. Unfortunately, the grotto did not make the move when Elizabeth House moved to a more suitable location. The statue, as Michelle put it, “followed us without a dedicated home.” The Knights of Columbus at St. Peter’s parish who have been instrumental in creating a homey atmosphere in the front and backyards at the house with landscaping and upkeep, arranged to have a new grotto built for the original statue, which has also been repainted. "We asked the St Peter's Knights of Columbus to rebuild the grotto and they came through as always. They even found the gentleman who was the original brick layer to build the new one!" Michelle said. A dedication ceremony will take place with Bishop McGrattan at the beginning of June. “I believe that all the women that come through are under her mantle and enfolded in Mary’s robes. I constantly think of that as being part of the leadership that we are all in her presence always, and it helps us get through some really difficult moments.” Difficulty doesn’t even begin to describe what it must be like to be newly pregnant and unsupported by family, friends or community and without a place to go; “Some of the research has shown that one of the most substantial reasons that women choose abortion is that they believe that they can not provide the optimal conditions for motherhood,” Michelle said, adding that housing is also a major contributor, “If you have no idea where you’re going to sleep or you can’t guarantee in your mind that you can keep this baby safe from harm, that’s what might lead a woman to that decision. They want to feel like they can be the best mother possible.” The proof that Elizabeth House moms can and do achieve the best motherhood possible is in their stories. Michelle emphasised the determination and hard work that many women have shown her over her 15 years there, especially the last two years in the midst of global pandemic, The public health restrictions had a myriad of consequences for Elizabeth House. Some of the regularly accessed programming was closed, outside visitors were not allowed at times, and isolation for symptoms had to happen in the four walls of a small bedroom. “We saw more acute mental health needs and crises,” Michelle said, adding that being in a staff position was very difficult, because inevitably acting on the public health measures made them feel they may be doing harm. Despite the hardships faced, there were also silver linings. “We had only one isolated case of COVID-19 in a place where people are coming and going, and that speaks to how well we cared for one another,” Michelle said. Strength and resilience of the community showed through as well when amidst the fear and the struggle, victories were won. “We were seeing women just circling the house – nowhere to go. Schools were closed. We have from time to time women who are in post-secondary education. Now they were online with a baby, and guess what? They did it. They absolutely did it. “We had one woman finish her post-secondary degree at home with a brand new baby during COVID. This is what can happen. This is what I’m speaking to, just the resilience, the strength, the courage, the sheer determination of the women here. This isn’t about the program; this is about them. We are simply giving them the space to shine.” Another woman was able to purchase her first home during the pandemic, which is a first for the program. “We’ve never had a woman move into that situation before, but she worked so hard to get everything in place for her next steps.” Michelle and the staff at Elizabeth House have been grateful for the financial and physical support that continued despite the pandemic. “It slowed down understandably but it never ended. We were overwhelmed both Christmases with donations and still getting people who want to volunteer as soon as restrictions are lifted. In those incredibly dark moments, the support and care never ended and that really mattered.” After only a few minutes of talking to Michelle, I noticed and admired how she spoke about the women Elizabeth House serves. She spoke with admiration and respect, and emphasised the dignity of each woman, saying that it is their hard work that makes the difference for them, and that Elizabeth House, just like a midwife to a birthing mother, holds up a mirror to them saying “You’re doing it. You’ve got this.” “They’re powerful – they just don’t know it yet – and we are helping them to see that and to practice it so that they can move forward.”
HOLY WEEK
HOLY THURSDAY
HOLY SATURDAY & EASTER
God Squad Canada started in Calgary with four police officers coming together in prayer. It has since grown into an apostolate over the last 25 years that influences men around the world. Through the guidance of St Joseph, God Squad’s vision is to form and strengthen men, inspiring them to embrace God’s vocation in their lives. They strive to encourage men positively amidst today’s darkness of spiritual famine and moral confusion. God Squad wishes to reverse the breakdown of families by serving and nurturing men of all ages to be leaders in their families and communities. Their ministry brings men together by various initiatives such as BBQ Outreach, motorcycle rides, disc golf, or by hosting an annual Men's Conference. During the Year of St Joseph, God Squad was able to stream their conference online and reach men throughout the world. Many men over the years have been inspired to show the same servant leadership to their families that Christ has for His bride, the Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church because of these conferences. Men have discerned marriage; others the priesthood. (See “How Many of You” in God Squad’s Newsletter for November 2021 and read about Father Troy Nguyen's experience at a God Squad Conference). Others have found the strength to persevere or to take on new challenges, or to find new meaning and hope in their faith. Some men have been sent by their wives and are now eternally grateful! Some come looking for answers. Most come just to be with other like minded men. Men need mentoring. Men need to mentor others. Men need to lead. In an interview with Mario Toneguzzi on Faith Spotlight, Sean Lynn, president and founder of God Squad Canada says that this year’s theme was inspired by Avi Kaplan’s song “Change on the Rise" and St. John Paul II’s new springtime in his encyclical Redemptoris Missio, long before the current political winds and discourse in the media. Inspired by reflection, Sean recognizes, as farmers do, that the springtime is a time of hard work. As “we’re coming out of two years of struggle and strife” says Constable Lynn, “we need to work hard at coming together and work for healing” and building up the Kingdom of God. Consider giving the men in your life a ticket to “Change on the Rise; Ushering in the New Springtime!”. This year God Squad has the pleasure of hosting amazing speakers: Jeff Cavins, Brett Powell, and Bishop William McGrattan, who will celebrate the Mass. All men in the Diocese (and beyond) are invited to come for the Conference at St. Michael's Church in Calgary, on March 18 & 19, 2022. You can register to attend in person or to watch via livestream. Bring your son, your father, your brother, your cousin, your friend, or even a stranger! Consider hosting a viewing party (Contact godsquad25@godsquad.ca if you need ideas on hosting a viewing party), or to host the viewing party in your parish. And as a bonus, get free access to Chris Stefanik’s “Rise A 30 – Day Challenge” worth $45 - after you register. Ten Reasons to join God Squad Men's Conference this year
Submitted by God Squad Canada
Reverence for Christ, love and laughter are paramount in the home of Irene Sarmiento and Ernesto Lozano, who met and married in their home-country of Mexico before emigrating to Canada with their growing family 11 years ago. They’ve been married for 26 years and they have six children. “On our wedding day, we received the blessing of the bishop who married us, and one of the wedding gifts was a papal blessing from Pope John Paul II. I feel we’ve had tons of grace helping us on our journey,” said Irene. That journey would carry them far from their beginnings, but when they arrived in Canada, they found a new home in their Catholic communities in Calgary. “When we went to Church and I saw the tabernacle, I felt at home, because the Church is everywhere, and it is actually like you have a family,” said Irene, commenting that the Church community in Canada welcomed them with open arms when they arrived. The family of the Church welcomed another couple into its midst in 2014, when Jean-Francois (JF) and Ana Church said, “I do.” Though they met one another and attended JF’s prom together in 2006, they had a long journey toward marriage. As both of them journeyed separately toward a deeper relationship with God and a greater understanding of the workings of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they formed a friendship that blossomed into love as they eventually served in youth ministry together in Ottawa. “It is such an intimate relationship when you are working with someone and being guided by the holy spirit and teaching about God,” said Ana. “You really get to see that person’s heart and where they are at and where their relationship with God is at. At the time I thought, ‘these are all the qualities that I’m looking for in a husband.’” Both said they feel they were guided to one another by God. “For some time, I thought I wanted to be a priest,” JF shared, saying he took a yearlong discernment retreat to find out. “The answer for me was clear that I was called to exemplify the Holy Family, and that’s a tall order. I didn’t know who the lady would be at that time, but every time there’s a shadow of doubt, I know that I discerned this and that God has a plan for us.” God’s plans are mysterious and beautiful. As I listened to both of these couples share their memories, my own came vividly to mind. Thirteen years ago on February 14th, my husband Joseph who had also discerned the priesthood but felt called to have a family, married. As I walked down the aisle of our hometown church on the arm of my dad, I remember being awestruck. My thoughts raced, but I remember thinking that this was the church where our parents had brought us to be baptized, and where we had walked down the aisle to receive the Eucharist countless times, and here we were on the same path toward something entirely new and sacred. We felt truly at home in the Church in that moment. “Being married is not easy, it is hard,” said Ernesto matter-of-factly, “especially being married to someone like me,” he finished with a wry smile. I’ll confess I feel like Joseph sometimes carries an unfair burden with such an emotional, opinionated wife. But all self-deprecation and joking aside, as Catholics we have been richly blessed in the Sacraments, which feed our souls and call us to deeper conversion. In 2011, Joseph and I walked the aisle of the same Church at my father’s funeral. It gave me comfort to recall our wedding, my First Communion and all of the Masses I’d attended there as I walked, this time with the heaviness of grief. It was in the Sacraments and in my marriage that I found solace. This moment came to mind when Ernesto said, “when you are feeling terrible, there is always the Sacrament of Reconciliation.” He and Irene try to go often, and to normalize going for their children. It is important for them that their children would feel at home in the church. “When the children were little, I would take them and ask the priest if they could talk with him a little bit. That way when it came time for their First Reconciliation they weren’t going to a person they didn’t know,” Irene said. As Irene and Ernesto recall starting their family, they remember feeling overwhelmed too. “When you have your first child they do not come with instructions,” said Ernesto facetiously. “Yes,” added Irene, “you have to figure it out as you go.” Six children, including now-adult children have given them a lot of practice in parenting, and I had to resist the temptation to sit for hours picking their brains for advice about my own family. Something that is important to the couple is mentorship of parents, which they do through their involvement with a program called Family Enrichment. As parents of young children, Mass can be a challenge. Nonetheless, Ana and JF try to attend Mass as often as possible. In moments where certain behaviours are causing problems of concentration, JF says he tries to “remove myself mentally from the situation, as if to see myself in the third person, pretending that I’m God the Father looking at this situation; one of the kids wrote on the pew with wax crayon and I’m trying to listen to the homily. “Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me,” and if I am pretending I am God looking in, I think “okay, this is actually hilarious.” If I miss the homily, then I know God meets us where we don’t expect it, and he’ll fill me some other way.” “I don’t operate that way,” said Ana, “and I often feel alone in those moments.” “So often I pray to the Holy Spirit that I need help. Sometimes (during Mass, but also in everyday life) I’m praying under my breath and the kids ask “what are you doing?” and I say “I’m inviting Jesus right now… you should too!” It models for them that they can reach out to God when they need Him and that He will be there for us even when we might feel alone.” “It also models for them that we are not trying to raise them to be perfect,” said JF. “We expect them to have freakouts just like we do, but in those moments there is a Holy Spirit, there is a Jesus, there is an Abba-Daddy who cares for us and wants to help. I think it is just beautiful to model that.” To support one another in continuing to grow a relationship with God, Ana and JF have been going alternate weeks to Tuesday night Reconciliation, Mass and Adoration for almost a year. “Having that sacred time that we can look forward to and that we protect for each other is really key. We also get to listen to the homily that day, which is really nice,” said Ana. “It’s amazing how many saints went to frequent confession,” pointed out JF, who finds it helpful to go often and “break the cycle of sin.” “If I’m going often, with not a lot of time between confessions, I’m forcing myself to be in a position to make an examination of conscience and go a deeper route so that I can address things in myself – other personality defects that are leading me to those sins.” Ana and JF are a couple who’ve spent quite a long time building up the spiritual life of their family and seeking the Sacraments. “The key is really staying vulnerable with the Lord and with each other, and I find the Sacraments just make room for that psychologically and emotionally, and bring a source of inspiration and dreaming with the Lord,” said JF.
Our homes hold a lot of what is near and dear to us. For starters, our family. The home provides shelter for the people we love. Aside from our belongings which we need in order to function in life, our home is a shelter for the things that define us, objects that hold special meanings. Be it a special painting, a family heirloom, or that memorable walkman from the 80s. In a Catholic home, some of the objects that hold special meaning to us are holy images or religious articles that help us think of God and the communion of the saints and the angels. Some Catholic homes have home altars or prayer corners/rooms where the family can spend time of prayer, meditation, or teaching the Faith. This YouTube vlogger, A Catholic Mom's Life, features her prayer room as a place not only to pray but also to read and hang-out as a family apart from the living room or the kitchen. Tips for starting your home altar/prayer corner or room...
Having a home altar or prayer corner/room can help us consciously make room for God in our lives. Consider this... Our homes should be a refuge, a place where everyone can come home to rest, to be nourished, and to be re-energized for the next day. Carve a place for prayer and let the peace of Christ dwell in your house. For you have been a refuge to the poor, a refuge to the needy in their distress, a shelter from the rainstorm and a shade from the heat." Isaiah 25:4 Catholics, or Christians in general, can sometimes forget that we are both body and soul as human beings. We are not spiritual beings like the angels even when our human nature also has a spiritual dimension. We are human beings beautifully made by God, body and soul.
How we see and treat ourselves will often shape how we see and treat others. Christ became one of us as a human being, body and soul, in His incarnation while continuing to be God at the same time. He even bothered to be raised both in body and soul in His resurrected state because we matter. We matter to God both in body and soul and only death separates both from each other. Thus, the Lord opens for us the path of the resurrection to eternal life.
Watch this video and learn about a very simple financial principle that will require some discipline to live faithfully. *The video is used for illustration purposes and is not an endorsement of the financial institution. We must all live within our means. Even with more money, without any clear purpose, we can spend more than we make. Without this clear purpose, we can get into debt which causes a lot of negative impact on our spiritual, mental, and even physical well being. Let's keep these in mind:
Consider this... does your money own you or do you use your money to serve God and His purpose for you? Honour the LORD with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine." Proverbs 3:9-10 In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit… Despite his upbringing in a strict Hindu Orthodox home in India, Kasiviswanat Ganesan carefully recites the Trinitarian prayer complete with careful hand placements to mark out the sign of the Catholic faith. Kasiviswanat or ‘Kasi’ as we all know him as, is the Cafeteria Manager at our newest high school in Red Deer Catholic Regional Schools. He has held this position since the school opened and has become well-known throughout the school division for his culinary expertise and the amazing lunches and dinners that he provides as part of the catering responsibilities that his team holds throughout the division. Kasi is also a parent in our division with a son and a daughter in our French Immersion program. This allows him to have a unique perspective and I sought him out to discuss his observations and understanding in relation to Catholic education. In our conversation, Kasi shared that he works two full time jobs. He is a supervisor at one of the top restaurants in Red Deer. He begins this job everyday after working 8 hours at our high school. Kasi indicated how hard this has been on his relationship with his son, Mukesh, who he often doesn’t even see on a normal workday. He tells me that he is supporting his own extended family back in India as well as in-laws in Indonesia. Kasi also tells me that he has been offered twice as much money at other restaurants or a promotion at the restaurant he currently works at if he would give up his job at St. Joseph’s High School. I asked him why he doesn’t do that especially given the financial obligations he carries. He replies, “I stay because of Mr. Daniel”. Mr. Daniel is the principal and Kasi goes on to inform me that he learns so much watching Mr. Daniel lead the school community. “He has built a family at our school.” I want to lead like Mr. Daniel who is tough on the outside, but has a really big heart.” I ask Kasi for an example and he describes a time when Mr. Daniel came to him and told him about a young man in their school who has a very difficult home life and was supporting younger siblings basically on his own. “Mr. Daniel told me to quietly give this student a lunch every day and just send the bill to the office and they would take care of it.” Kasi also recalls the time when Kasi, himself, became a Canadian citizen. “I did not tell Mr. Daniel that I was doing this, but the next day, the school had organized a special gathering for me and celebrated my new citizenship.” Kasi knows that his kids are getting more than just a good education in our Catholic school division. “They are learning how to live in a relationship with others. Catholic school changes their character and puts them on a good path. It is a good thing that they are learning there is one superior power out there guiding them.” This takes me back to the first line of the article where Kasi perfectly demonstrated the sign of our Catholic faith. Kasi has not joined the Catholic Church nor does he have any current desire to do so, but he knows Catholic education is good for his kids. Kasi explains, “My daughter taught me this as part of her prayers of gratitude she leads when we eat meals together and before she goes to sleep at night.” Kasi’s daughter’s name is Avanthika which means ‘beautiful sky’. She is five years old.
Christmas is a season and not just a day. Watch this video and learn more about the days of Christmas.
Consider these during the Christmas season
Celebrate how blessed we are with the gift of the Christ child not in a day but for a season. He is Immanuel, God-with-us. Feasts during the Christmas season are about family, friendship, and the expression of gratitude, but for many of us, often these feasts can lead to overeating. Watch the thought-provoking video by Fr. Mark Mary of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal on our relationship with food, material attachments, and our sisters and brothers in need. Consider these when eating especially during the Christmas season...
Share with others the gift of food, made with an abundance of love. Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it."
Find links to blessings and other resources below to help you celebrate this special feast of Holy Family with your family and friends.
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Catholic Pastoral Centre Staff and Guest Writers Archives
April 2024
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