Preparing for Christmas with Mary Rose Bacani Valenti

Each Advent I delight in opening the Bacani Valenti Family Christmas card. 

Mary Rose, a wife, homeschool mother of four girls aged 13, 10, 8 and 5, and freelance Catholic broadcaster, with her devoted husband Richard, an artist and videographer for Salt + Light Television, creatively write their Christmas card, using their art, photographs and words to reflect prayerfully on how God has moved in their family life. Their desire for holiness is evident and their card is a gift that turns my thoughts toward God. 

I met Richard and Mary Rose 20 years ago working in the Catholic media scene together in Toronto. Though we live at a distance now, our faith continues to connect us. 

It’s my pleasure to announce that Mary Rose will host one of three online Advent retreat evenings for the Diocese of Calgary. We are invited to gather in our parish, 7 pm, Dec. 3-5, to view the presenters: Brett Powell ‘Forming missionary disciples in Christ’; Bishop Scott McCaig ‘Be a Church of encounter and witness’; and Mary Rose Bacani Valenti ‘Strengthening family life’. 

The Bacani Valenti Family mission is to be a ‘Little Nazareth’ like the Holy Family. 

Simplicity is a cornerstone of their spirituality. They limit outside influences in the home, recognizing their foundation comes from offering one another the gift of presence.

“‘Being’ is so important for us, so we spend our time just being together,” said Mary Rose of Richmond Hill, Ont. 

They seek activities that connect instead of divide; currently Mary Rose and her daughters act in a community theater twice weekly. 

Although the couple earns their living in communications, they limit technology use in their home. 

“I’m more like a monk. I don’t have notifications on my phone. I’m not on Facebook. I feel really called to enter into a silence,” said Mary Rose. 

She is currently praying the 19th Annotation, an at-home retreat centered on St. Ignatius of Loyola's Spiritual Exercises. Mary Rose values her morning and evening prayer, weekly spiritual direction and moments of silence throughout the day. As a family, silence sounds like afternoon quiet time and an uncluttered schedule, allowing for a slower pace. 

“It’s living essentially…it’s a substantial silence, not just nobody talks – whether you read a book, write in a journal or go for a walk – we value that in our day.” 

Gather in your parish, and join Mary Rose online on Thursday, December 5, 2024 from 7 pm to 8:30 pm

Mary Rose was drawn into a spirit of interior silence when she began nursing her eldest daughter. She sought efficiency, work and multitasking while her baby nursed, but soon her focus shifted more to her baby than her phone.

“There was something beautiful about being present to this child who was taking nourishment from me, but actually calling me into ‘being’ – just ‘full being,” said Mary Rose.  

“Sometimes I start to tack-on all the busy things; sometimes ‘being’ gets boring, and then I realize I’m missing something – ‘Oh yes, ‘being’ – why did I think something is better than that?’ and I go back.”

 The couple aims to raise people who can think for themselves.

‘I want to give [the children] the atmosphere so they can be our generation’s philosophers. We used to value our philosophers, but we don’t have time to think and we just want to know what other people think,” said Mary Rose. 

As a society “we value the doing and then we can’t think for ourselves, or invent things, or we are not as in tune with God. That’s why [our family likes] to write or do art because that comes from within us,” said Mary Rose. “I find we are less creative when we are busy; there is this emptiness, I don’t feel full.”

For Mary Rose, writing her annual Christmas card isn’t busy work, but a space to reflect and pray.

“It’s not a big burden because I do want to reflect on God’s gifts for us every year,” said Mary Rose. “We pick one theme and it’s our preparation for the year ahead.”

Mary Rose invites you to join her at your parish on Dec. 5 to create intentional space for a guided Scriptural meditation and prayerfully reflect on how to strengthen your spiritual life in order to strengthen your own family. ​

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Written by Sara Francis for Faithfully. Written by Sara Francis for Faithfully. Sara is a writer living in Calgary with her husband Ben and their six children. They attend St. Bernard's / Our Lady of the Assumption Parish.