My Lord, My Mother, My Patroness

The title of this testimony may not make sense now, but it will by the end, as those mentioned in the title are the most important people in my faith journey.

I was raised Protestant. I always knew who Jesus was and knew a good amount of Scripture, but I still struggled with my faith. No matter how much I tried to follow Jesus, I always stumbled, and in 2023, I gave up on my faith.

Eventually, I returned to it, but I still wasn’t taking it all that seriously until September of 2024. Just a month before, I had suffered a terrible breakup that left me in a sorrowful state, and I was heading toward becoming a man I didn’t want to be.

In September, I started reading the Gospel of Matthew. I had never read the Bible for myself—I had always just heard it in bits and pieces at church and in different youth groups. When I finished reading Matthew, it gave me a lot to think about. It especially made me think more favorably about the Catholic Church. But I was never going to be Catholic. They have that wacky Pope and believe in that nonsense about Mary! That’s what I told myself, anyway.

One late night, I was sitting alone and came across the 60 Minutes interview with Pope Francis. I was completely moved by listening to him speak. He was such a merciful man, and you could tell just by hearing him that he was of God. It completely turned the narrative I had on its head.

That night, I accepted Pope Francis as one of the many Christian leaders and saw him as a true man of God in our dark world. But it was still a long road before I would proclaim papal supremacy like I do now.

Sometime after that, a post came up from a Catholic solo metal project I had started listening to because I liked the songs about Jesus. The project was called Hell’s Enemy, and the man behind it is named Fredrick—a metalhead turned Catholic convert, much like myself.

Fred made a video explaining what Catholics believe about Mary. After watching it, I sat down and began to think a lot more about her. I thought back to when I was a young boy, I had always adored Mary. A large part of that was because I had only my biological mother, and my father was not in my life. So it was easy for me to find comfort in someone like Mary.

I loved Mother Mary, until I grew up and was taught by many Protestants that she was nothing special, just a sinful woman God picked to give birth to Jesus and nothing more.

After reflecting on this, I decided to say a simple prayer to our Mother. Humbly, I asked, “Mother Mary, please pray for me.” I kept praying that prayer every day, and eventually, I was led into Saint Patrick’s on October 13th. My life was changed after attending Mass. I had never felt the presence of God more than I did that day.

But it would still be a little longer before I entered RCIA.

On November 10th, I attended Mass a second time. After that Mass, I talked to a lady who passed my information to Deacon Terry. I went about my life and waited for a call. A few days later, I got one. Deacon Terry asked me some light questions and when I could meet. We met that same week, and during that meeting he asked me why I wanted to be Catholic.

I told him I wanted a faith that had more commitment. But there was a bigger reason I didn’t share at the time.
Mary.

She was the biggest reason I was there. I had a few supernatural encounters with our Mother—her presence was overwhelming and constantly around me until I went and signed up for RCIA. She poured out her love to me, and it was so overwhelming that it left me with an aching feeling in my soul, a calling. My soul and heart were not yet ready for that kind of love, but the outpouring of her love left me no choice but to enter the Church. Almost as if to say, “Alright Mother, you win! No more!”

I was afraid to share these experiences I had with the Blessed Mother, because I was absolutely afraid of sounding like a crazy person. But now that I’ve grown more comfortable in my faith, I am unashamed to talk about my relationship with the Holy Mother.

My love for Our Mother only grew when Ray, who was a sponsor for Justin (the other catechumen besides myself, who was also received into the Church last year), gave me a rosary. Praying the rosary changed my life! Every time I pray the rosary, I’m filled with a love for Jesus and his Mother. As I pray, I am filled with Mary’s maternal love for me, and it has shattered many habits that once had a strong hold on me.

So thank you, Ray, for giving me my first rosary!

For those who have been in the Church and have paid attention to me or gotten to know me, you know how the rest goes. I did a ton of research into Church history and theology. I came to church every week (besides one time when the winter weather was bad) and actively participated in the Mass. The reason for all of that is because my love for Jesus has grown beyond belief, and I love going to church, which is something I never thought would be possible.

Now, there is another important figure in my faith journey I absolutely must mention: my beloved Saint Catherine of Siena, my Patroness.

On the night of Christmas Eve, after coming home from Mass, my friends and I began to discuss the relics that the Church had. Little did I know, the Holy Spirit had something in store for me that night.

I was guided to the head of Catherine. Yes, the very first image I ever saw of her was her decapitated head in a glass box. I was absolutely intrigued, so I looked up her name. Just a few seconds after hitting the search button, her portrait by Giovanni Battista appeared. I sat there and stared at it for a few seconds, taking in her face, the stigmata on her hands, and the crown of thorns resting on her head.

Before this moment, I was struggling to find my saint. I knew one had picked me out from the rest and was deeply interested in me, so much so that by their prayers and constant battle against the forces of evil over me, there was never going to be a version of me that didn’t end up Catholic.

Believe me, the fact I’ve even made it to the age of 21 is nothing short of divine intervention. Someone was dragging me along, keeping me on track so I wouldn’t stray too far. Whoever it was, they were as sharp as a sword when it came to matters of faith, so much so that, even to this day, they remain a controversial saint in the Church.

After sitting there a few moments, looking at her, something hit me right in the soul. It was as if Catherine herself came down from heaven to smack me in the face and reprimand me for not coming to her sooner. But nonetheless, joyfully, I was here now.

Let me tell you, if Mother Mary was the one to give me a loving push to go to Saint Patrick’s, Catherine was grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me up the steps.

As I got to know Catherine more, I could see she was strengthening me with all the power God had given her. There have been many times I’ve been afraid to do or say something, but every time, she’s dragged me into doing it. One example was during our 40 hours of adoration. I sat in the middle pew and got settled. After just a few minutes, I heard a voice, clear as ever, say to me: “Pick up your stuff and go sit at the front. Go. Now.”

With the sharpness, yet at the same time gentleness of that voice, I knew it could be no one else but Catherine of Siena.
I did as she asked and sat at the very front of the church. I had a beautiful visit with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. I sat there for three hours, praying, reading Scripture, and adoring our Lord.

St. Catherine is someone I can get behind easily. Her honesty and disregard for what people might think or feel about what she would say when it came to the truth was a perfect match for me. I tell people now all the time that they better be careful when they ask me for my honest opinion, because I have the sharpness of my Patroness.

Along with her attitude and personality, she adored what most would consider morbid imagery, but all she saw was beauty in it. I’m in full agreement with her on that. She always talked about blood and desired to be martyred, as she once wrote: “I pray that sweet Light (Jesus) leads us to bleed to death for the truth.”

Truly, I tell you, with her attitude, her love of dark imagery, and her need to go against the culture of her time, Catherine was, in many ways, one of the first "metalhead" types to ever exist. That only added to my love for her. There could not be a more perfect saint for me. Only the divine could arrange such a close and intimate relationship. That’s the way I would describe my relationship with Catherine: she is absolutely a guiding figure, but more importantly, she is a friend, my best friend.

Even with all the friends I have on earth, no one comes close to her. She will always put me on the path of Christ, even if it means she has to drag me across the parking lot and up the steps of the church to do so. Because that’s the kind of person she is, and we all need a friend like that.

There’s not too much I can promise you, but if I make it to heaven through the grace of God, wherever Catherine goes, I won’t be too far behind, and vice versa.

Saint Catherine of Siena, pray for us!

Now, having shared with you my testimony of faith, my relationship with our dear Mother, and my friendship with my beloved Patroness, how does this testimony end? With a call to action.

​For those who read this, if you haven't already, I urge you to consider the following: 

First, to grow a devotion to our Blessed Mother. The Church is at her best when Mary is honored and devotion to her is at an all-time high. So please, take the time to spend with Mother. Maybe even bring her flowers—whether at your home shrine or at church. Don’t be afraid to show your love for her, because she loves you unapologetically.

Second, to grow in closeness to your Patron or Patroness. Take some time to ask for their guidance and intercession. Build a relationship with the one who prays for and watches over you—they care deeply for you.

Third and finally, be unashamed of your Catholic faith. When you eat in public, make the sign of the cross before you eat. When you pray with friends and family, say the Hail Mary—no matter what they may think. When the opportunity arises, always share your faith with people and invite them to Mass.

My friends, you are part of the true Church of Jesus Christ! Be proud to be a part of His holy Church!

In conclusion, I want to say thank you to my Godmother, Rita. Rita has been a great help as well as a good person to just have a great conversation with. I’m very thankful to have gotten to know her.

Thank you also to everyone in the RCIA at Saint Patrick’s, the parishioners there and at Holy Family, the clergy at both churches, and everyone at Saint Mary’s Cathedral who showed me such wonderful hospitality as a visitor when I attended their parish for a few days in early April.

Thank you all for welcoming me with love into Christ’s Church like no one else ever has. No matter where I go, I have family nearby—as long as there’s a Catholic Church.

I look forward to what else awaits me on this journey.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us!
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!
Saint Catherine of Siena, pray for us!
Ave Christus Rex!
Ave Maria!

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Written by Luke Banek, St. Patrick's in Medicine Hat.