“Hey!  Excuse me, but…  I’m new to Lethbridge.  Is this the way to St. Martha’s Church?”
​
It was Sunday, September 7, 2014 — my first Sunday in a new city, in my first week of university, my first time to Sunday Mass without my family — and I was in a bit of a panic.  My first week of university had already been a washout — I’d already managed to double-book my classes, look like an over-enthusiastic know-it-all (the lesson was on the parts of the Mass — child’s play!), get completely overwhelmed in wind orchestra rehearsal, and terrify my new roommates with my rice cooker.  

Google Maps told me it was a 22-minute walk to St. Martha’s Parish from my residence building, but I was 20 minutes into my journey with no church in sight.  I was not about to have getting lost on my way to my first Mass in Lethbridge, crown off my week of failures, so mustering a bit of the remaining confidence I had, I ran ahead to a group of three young women who were also walking down Columbia Boulevard and asked for directions.

“We don’t know.  We’re new here too.  If you’re headed there too, we must be going the right way.”  What a relief!  We walked the last block there together.

Mass ended.  It was so unlike anything I had known growing up in the Anglican Use liturgy at St. John the Evangelist in Calgary, and I was homesick for my parish community.  We walked back to the university together and then parted ways.  It would have been wise to get contact information, but in that first week of university, one meets so many new people only to never see them again…  Another failure.

Monday afternoon.  I sat eagerly in Music and did my best to put the last week behind me.  Suddenly, I hear someone ask, “hey, do you mind if I sit here?”  It was one of the women I had walked to Mass with on Sunday!  “Of course you can!”  Another relief.

Later, I would learn that she had seen me answer way too many questions in that class in the first week and decided that we should be friends.  (Thanks be to God for extroverts.)  We sat together through all of our first year Music History classes, sharing lunch in the cafeteria before each class.  We endured some of our first university experiences together — we stayed up until 4 a.m. writing our first papers, and we were the last two to finish our final exam.  She and her roommate (another one of the trio I had walked to Mass with) became close friends with a high school friend and me, and there are many fond memories of sharing meals, playing board games and going on late-night drives through Lethbridge together.  In many ways, this friendship became the rock on which I leaned on during this difficult first university year.

She also challenged my faith to become more vibrant.  Entering university, I had a very dry, legalistic understanding of Catholicism, which she pushed back against gently, teaching me to temper my scrupulosity and legalism with gentleness and charity.  I learned from her how to lean on God’s grace when confronted with new stressors and challenges.  We went to our first young adult events together in Lethbridge, without which I would have never become so deeply involved in that ministry.  We also travelled to World Youth Day in Kraków together, where I learned to grow deeper in God’s ardent, merciful love, and to follow this love to the ends of the earth.

The Lord has everything within the palm of His almighty hand — He knew I needed a friend in that difficult time, and the friend he sent me changed my life for the best.  If I had not met Natalie on the road to St. Martha’s, how else might my life have looked?  Would I have been pushed to love my God and my neighbour more deeply?  Would young adult ministry have become such a huge part of my life?  Would I even have graduated from university?  There is no such thing as an accidental encounter — God introduced me to Natalie as part of His plan for my life, and I hope that our friendship has been of value for Natalie as well (even though I’m still very much the junior partner in this friendship!).  God places friends within our lives intentionally — to challenge, encourage and push us to grow to love and adore Him more.

I had been reflecting upon this idea with Natalie near the end of our first year of university together.  Her response was perfect, “Christians are like grapes. We grow best in bunches.” May God give us this grace so to grow as clusters of friends together, fed by the one true Vine.

By: Solomon Ip

I lived at Elizabeth House in July 2009. I was initially staying with my Mom’s third cousin in Calgary as I needed to be away from the dad of my kid. We had been together for six years on and off as I always caught him cheating and was emotionally manipulated. 

After my US trip, we didn’t see each other for three months and as usual, he was trying to win me back and I thought he changed. It was a one-time deal and then I got pregnant. It was not great news for both of us, since I had just passed on my crown as a national beauty queen in the Philippines, having represented the country in the international pageant of Miss Earth and won Miss Photogenic.
 
I had also just started my job in the Nestle Philippines when we found out I was pregnant. As usual, he would still have girls around and still be so sweet to me. I realized it was not a healthy situation as he was not committed, and he would always hold me back. He tried to win me back so many times, but as he was not fully committed to me, I knew I had to help myself. So, I left him knowing I would be in a better place.
 
But living with relatives is harder than I thought. Especially when there’s judgment in the situation and if they don’t understand the many changes in pregnancy. It wasn’t healthy anymore in that house. I even reached a point when I wanted to leave the world, but no, I couldn’t do it because I had my daughter inside of me. So, I remained strong and fought hard. I asked our Parish priest, Father Edmund Vargas, who is also a Filipino, for help. He recommended Elizabeth House.
 
After being accepted, I found peace. The House was equipped and the people were warm. I like the division of tasks in cleaning, cooking and also the seminars and events every week. I found my family in Canada. Elizabeth House helped me focus more on my pregnancy and prepare for my delivery as well as for motherhood. The social workers were so helpful. 
 
I am so glad that there’s a place like this. 
 
In the Philippines, we don’t have much help like this. That’s the reason why it has been my dream since that time (10 years ago) to put up my own Elizabeth House. And indeed, after 10 long years, I have finally started and our House is now being built. 
 
I believe that there’s a reason for everything and nothing is an accident. This happened to me, so I would know my purpose. I have goosebumps as I write this, but I believe I have finally found my purpose. To build this House that could help many women in crisis. I know what they go through, I know their challenges, I know how to help. And, finally, I can help. 
 
No one thought I would end up being a single mom, I was not the type. But like I said, there’s a reason for everything. I also believe that our worst moments give birth to our most amazing moments. 
 
This amazing moment in my life includes giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, whom I love and cherish the most. I believe she is my greatest achievement, and now this opportunity to launch Elizabeth House Foundation Philippines.
 
Again, many thanks to you all! May you continue to help women and make them stronger in facing motherhood. Praying for you all and our mothers in the House, always!
 
We Love you!
 
Jeanne and Gabby

Once per month, St. Bonaventure Pastor Fr. Colin O’Rourke brings Jesus into local schools for Eucharistic Adoration. 

The Sisters of Divine Mercy play music as students gather in the gym, followed by a short talk. Then, Fr. O’Rourke exposes Jesus, fully present in the Blessed Sacrament, in the monstrance on the altar. He invites students to sit silently before God in prayer for 5-10 minutes, closing with benediction and a prayer to make a spiritual communion.

“It’s a bit counterintuitive to have a bunch of elementary school students sit quietly, people just think that’s not going to happen. And invariably, you can hear a pin drop. The kids are actually very attentive,” said Fr. O’Rourke.  

St. Bonaventure Youth Minister Adam Soos coordinates the devotion between the parish and St. Boniface Elementary, St. Philip Elementary, St. Don Bosco Elementary/Junior High and St. Bonaventure Junior High. He said a transferring student asked him to call his new principal to ensure the school offers adoration. 

“There is a lot of busyness in life,” said Soos. “Adoration is different from everything else. Instead of feeling scattered or worried, we feel peace. This is utterly authentic and the kids can pick up on it.” 

Adoration is a relatively uncommon devotion in schools. In Soos seven years of youth ministry at St. Bonaventure, he’s noticed principals new to the school are usually apprehensive until they experience it.
​
“They say ‘wow, I’m sad I haven’t had this for my entire career,’” said Soos. “We get feedback that the school can seemingly be in chaos and after, for the rest of the day everyone is happy, content and there is a sense of peace.” 

Soos notices more students attend Mass or a parish youth event following adoration in school. Fr. O’Rourke agrees. He said bringing Jesus to school students is more effective than simply inviting them to attend adoration in the parish, but in doing so, students are often inspired to follow Jesus to church. 

​Diocesan Moderator Fr. Wilbert Chin Jon, former St. Bonaventure pastor, introduced adoration in these schools in 2010. When he was reassigned to Our Lady of the Rockies in Canmore, he instituted 20 minutes of guided reflection and silence before the Blessed Sacrament twice a month in Our Lady of the Snows School; a devotion, the current pastor, Fr. Nathan Siray continues.

The new single BLESSED by ‘Tim and the Glory Boys’ is available to listen to HERE.
Written by Nadia Hinds

Roman Catholic parishioners the world over will spill out of their parish churches on Sunday, June 16 with an especially-cheerful mission. En route to family engagements seasoned with handmade cards and gifts for dads old and new, many will stop to wish their parish priests a heartfelt, “Happy Father’s Day, Father.” 
​
It’s a tradition Fr. Tim Boyle of Lethbridge has appreciated since his ordination in 1974. While the secular notion of fatherhood “is a metaphor I never used to understand myself as a priest,” he admits the good wishes are gratefully accepted. 

Deacon Troy Nguyen is at a significantly different place in his priestly vocation. Nguyen, 31, will receive Holy Orders on Friday, June 28, 2019. While he will have to wait a year before he hears the “Happy Father’s Day, Father” of the June greeting, he and Boyle already hold one Father’s Day tradition in common; both of these Calgary-born-and-raised priests use the occasion to thank God for their dads—and to contemplate their roles in the Church.

Are you hungry?

Nguyen says his dad is a man of few words. “But when we’re together at home, he’ll ask me, ‘are you hungry?’ I’ve come to recognize that simple question as an act of love and care. He wants to know if I am OK if I need anything. In some ways, I think I will be asking the people I serve the same question, ‘are you hungry?’ meaning, ‘how can I help, what do you need?’”

It’s an analogy Boyle can appreciate. He remembers his dad with great affection and is thankful for the many fathers he’s met in the parishes he’s worked in across southern Alberta. Like Nguyen, Boyle sees his vocation—and that of the secular dad—as rooted in service to others.

Indeed, that notion of service nurtured Boyle’s calling to the priesthood. He had an uncle who served as a missionary priest. As well, Boyle’s family (his dad and the six children), pulled together to care for their wife and mother after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Volunteering at the old children’s hospital gave Boyle additional frontline experience with service. “Those were some pretty formative experiences. And then I discovered that words have power, and I learned I had some ability to take ideas and give them expression in a way that helped people.” That knowledge, combined with a lifetime of faith practice nourished in his family, brought Boyle into the priesthood. He was ordained at the age of 24.

Nguyen’s journey included a break from seminary studies to finish a Bachelor of Education at the University of Alberta. In addition to teaching, he spent some time in the banking industry. The priestly vocation was “something I found really difficult to do at first,” admits Nguyen. “I felt like I was giving up everything. Now I understand that Jesus is worth giving up everything for. When I see an icon of Jesus on the cross, I realize he’s telling me, ‘God is worth it.’”

As a priest, Nguyen will share that faith with the people he serves in the Calgary Diocese. Now based at St. Peter’s, Nguyen also has strong ties to Calgary’s Vietnamese community. He will be the first Canadian-born Vietnamese priest ordained in this city. “When people I’ve met tell me they hope I can be their father, I know they are talking about my spiritual role in their lives. Still, it’s humbling.”

Boyle’s own role in the Church changed in 2018. Stepping back from the role of the parish priest, he now serves as the Bishop’s Delegate to a Diocesan committee that follows up allegations of sexual abuse and misconduct by clergy. He’s also the Vicar for Clergy, where he helps the Bishop with priest assignments. These are dramatically different roles for the long-time parish priest, but he accepts the challenges with the heart of a willing servant who believes the grace of Christ means “there will always be this core of love to keep His Church alive.” 

In the same way that earthly dads take care of their children, Boyle sees God’s hand in the world. “Life is not in the hands of fate. It’s not in the hands of chance. It’s a divine story that has God as its beginning and God as its ending,” says Boyle.

Nguyen echoes that sentiment. As a priest, he recognizes that his vocation is a gift from God that he can nurture with his faith. “Really, what people are looking for is hope. As a priest, I want to help them find that.”

Written by Joy Gregory

Which man of faith in the Diocese of Calgary inspires you in your vocation as husband and father? Here is what Mike McKinnon shared: 

Written by Sara Francis

Will I be a saint and lead my family to heaven? This is a question I frequently contemplate.

To be a father and husband requires heroism in the face of today’s secular society. God places a great responsibility on fathers. During my discernment as a single man, the thought of having children was the reason I was afraid to pursue the vocation of marriage. I was fearful about bringing children into a society that is morally corrupt and could very likely consume their souls.

Fr. Lasance shares the following regarding the raising of children. He emphasizes on the weight and responsibility by which God entrusts their care: "Married people have another important duty: they must bring up their children in the fear of God. At the day of their last judgement, we who have the care of souls do not fare like private individuals; we have not merely to answer for what we have personally done or left undone, but when we have given an account of this, we shall be asked about the condition of those who have been entrusted in our care. In the same manner, shall fathers and mothers be judged, not only regarding what their own lives have been but also to the manner in which they have brought up their children.”

I was contemplating this sentiment at a retreat held by Christopher West in 2015, and suddenly something clicked. If I wasn’t courageous to take up the challenge of raising holy children, how can I expect other men to maintain the faith through successive generations? The fact that I cared so deeply for the souls of children and their upbringing is the exact reason why I needed to be a father. I knew this was what God was calling me to do. 

St. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it”. When we read this passage, we ought to contemplate what God is calling all husbands to do. Each man is to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ did for his Church. Christ delivered himself through excruciating pain and suffering on his journey to Calvary to be crucified.

While being a father carries burdens, it also brings many joys and consolations. One of the most moving times in my life was when I gazed into the eyes of my son, Joseph shortly after he was born. Watching him grow and learn things for the first time has been very exciting. It melts my heart when he imitates us at mass or spontaneously asks to initiate our family rosary. Daily life is sprinkled with little blessings like these. Now, rather than dwelling too much on how the evils of this world can lure our children, I focus on how I can teach my son to know, love and serve God. This is what it means to be a father. 

As a father, I pray to St. Joseph - head of the Holy Family, for his intercession to be a heroic father and husband. 

​St. Joseph, pray for us. 

Written by John McDonald

Danielle Tomiak (Sacred Heart Parish, Calgary) is quick to admit that the adage ‘like mother, like daughter’ rings true for her and her own mother, Tracy Tomiak. 

“Our temperaments are kind of the same. Our reactions are kind of the same. As I continue to grow up, I hear myself sounding like her. And we look very much alike. It’s cool to have that connection with my mom,” said Danielle, the fourth of five siblings. 

They will even be brides at the same age. Tracy was 23 when she married her husband Bill Tomiak 30 years ago, and Danielle will be 23 when she marries Nathaniel de Jesus this June. As Danielle prepares for her vocation, she’s reflects on how her mother has been a model of both strength and femininity throughout her life.

Many don’t know that Tracy suffers from chronic pain after her car was rear-ended 15 years ago. 

“She used her suffering and united it to Christ for the greater glory of our family. She accepted it and turned it into something good. She used her struggles and her weaknesses and turned them into strength,” said Danielle, a parishioner at Sacred Heart Church.

Tracy, a member of Holy Name Parish, went on to achieve her masters in counselling and now runs her own marriage and family counselling practice.

“My mom is a powerhouse. In my eyes, she is the view of feminism in the world today. She’s fought for her (counselling) career not because ‘I’m a woman, I deserve a career’ but because she wants to help people and love people through her own feminine genius,” said Danielle.  

But for most of Tracy’s adult life, she worked inside the home raising four daughters and one son, now aged 21 to 29. And she is now active in the lives of her two young grandchildren. 

Written by Sara Francis

Written by Cyra Roman, parishioner of St. Peter's Parish in Calgary

Last week I found myself having the conversation about “what I do,” with other women. A bunch of soccer-moms trying to make small talk leaves me a bit wary.

“I stay at home with my five kids.” I said, eliciting replies of “Wow,” and “Five? You have five children?”, and then “and do you work?” (the question I was dreading).

“I work,” I say carefully, “having five kids means there’s a lot of work.”

A somewhat uncomfortable laugh. “Oh, of course, there is. Five! I just can’t imagine. But before kids, what did you do?”

“My background is in journalism. Now sometimes I freelance on the side,” I say.

I sense relief as I share this. A collective sigh as I share what I’ve contributed to life beyond the home. I do mean that sarcastically, because though I highly respect meaningful work outside the home, I don’t see why it can’t be on equal ground with the meaningful work many other women and I do within our homes. Aside from my household though, I am privileged to have the time for mother’s groups, school volunteering, and to commune with other moms who stay home. Women are needed in so many roles, and the choices we have today are abundant. There is a bit of material sacrifice in staying home, but I say this as a woman with the choice that many others don’t have due to poverty. The few things we don’t have compared to the time with my children are small.

I don’t view my position in the home as one might view a typical job, so I don’t want to call it a career, but I so badly want to convey to others that it is fulfilling. If I said the word “vocation,” in the soccer-mom crowd, I’m not sure what kind of looks I would get. 

In explaining vocation, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (898) states that “it belongs to the laity” – that is people who are not priests or religious; ordinary people like your average mom – “to seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them toward God’s will.”

That means that even I, an ordinary mother, have a role to play in the kingdom. In my endless laundry, in my nightly wakings with babies and in all of the budgeting, story reading, disciplining and other seemingly mundane things that I do in my home, there is the opportunity to “direct them” to God and His ultimate plan. 

I certainly know quite a few Catholic mothers whose vocation also includes a career balanced with home. But I think we must remember that mothers in any walk of life are not the sum of what they do, but that motherhood is wrapped up in womanhood and indeed humanity itself. 

St. John Paul II famously wrote a thank you to mothers in his 1995 Letter to Women, 

“You have sheltered human beings within yourselves in a unique experience of joy and travail. This experience makes you become God's own smile upon the newborn child, the one who guides your child's first steps, who helps it to grow, and who is the anchor as the child makes its way along the journey of life.”​

These important words have echoed in my heart since I began on my own mothering journey 10 years ago. Being the anchor and the guide is no easy task, but seeing those first steps, hearing those first words and having the luxury of time with my children is an immense privilege. Some days are hard, and it is on those days that I think “Was I ‘God’s own smile’ or was I Satan’s scowl to these children.” 

The great responsibility of raising four boys and a little girl is a heavy burden, which some days is eased only by the very idea that God’s grace is upon my husband and me to do it. It also eases my mind to know that even great saints struggled in this vocation:

“I could never have imagined how much I would suffer being a mother,” wrote St. Gianna Beretta Molla to her husband in 1958, “… It’s a good thing you’re more optimistic than I am so you can encourage me – otherwise, my morale would be almost below zero.”

St. Zelie Martin, mother of St. Therese of Lisieux wrote in a letter to one of her daughters, “I long for rest. I have not even the courage to struggle on. I feel the need of quiet reflection to think of salvation, which the complications of this world have made me neglect.” 

In some ways, life has grown only more complicated for mothers since the time of St. Zelie, but we continue to look for the very same things; quiet reflection, rest, balance.

I find solace in the community of women I’ve built over the years; people who understand what the Catholic faith teaches about family and vocation. Without these gracious and welcoming women, I might’ve thought that staying at home with children is not for me. Coffee flows in the homes of my friends, and an understanding ear is there when I need it. 

My mother converted to Catholicism when I was a child, and her example of fervent love for God and practice of the faith has shaped my motherhood. Hence, I also find encouragement within the Church I was brought up in. I’ve been blessed to encounter priests who smile on my family and welcome their noise and laughter, even in the middle of their homilies. I’ve been fortunate to have encountered those amazing people who will hold a baby, or just smile kindly at us when the children are being children. And in my role at home, it is my joy to bring the Church and its beauty to my children.

Written by Jessica Cyr, parishioner of St. Bernard / Our Lady of Assumption in Calgary.

One of the humbling privileges of serving as the vocation director of our diocese is coming into contact with young men who sincerely desire to give their lives to our Lord and the service of His Church. I would like to briefly share with you the impact one such of those young men has had upon me in the last year and a half. 
 
You may recognize the young man in the photograph as the one who presented the oil to be blessed as Oil of the Sick only two weeks ago at the Mass of Chrism. He and I first came into contact over Skype while he was still serving on a NET Ireland team. He had been diagnosed with cancer there which threw a wrench in his plan to return home at the end of his missionary year with the hope to enter the seminary for our diocese. His doctors were confident that he would recover there and return home well. 
 
That never turned out to be the case, and although he did make it back to Canada, he went through a roller coaster ride of sickness and health. His longing for the priesthood never wavered but at the beginning of April, when his doctors prognosticated that he would have only three months to a year left to live, he resigned himself to the fact he would never be ordained. Nevertheless, I asked him to consider himself my "assistant vocation director", wherein he would unite his sufferings to the Cross of our Lord for the intention of many and holy vocations to the priesthood for our diocese. He was unwaveringly committed to this spiritual work. Being present at our Chrism Mass was an opportunity for him to feel a share in our presbyterate.
 
Much sooner than expected, our assistant vocation director, Ted Andrew, peacefully passed from this life in the early hours of an Easter Octave morning, April 25, with his loving parents by his side. 
 
He will be laid to rest in his hometown of Youngstown following the funeral Mass at Sacred Heart in Oyen on Tuesday, April 30. Please join me in offering your prayers and Masses for this spiritual brother of ours, that His Father will look upon him with mercy, and in His goodness, favourably hear his prayers for the growth of our presbyterate. 

Presentation of the Oil of the Sick at the Chrism Mass (April 15, 2019). 

Written by Fr. Cristino Bouvette, Director of Vocations

“I remember being four or five-years-old, walking through the ravages of WWII feeling determined to make something good out of the chaos, destruction, death and suffering brought on by what I think of now as a senseless war.

My outlook on life then and now was inspired by a devoted and loving dad and a dedicated and faithful mom. They taught me to love others as God loves you, be good to others as God is to you and to be a giver and let God give you as much as He is sure to give – these are the lessons that I tried to live up to. My thoughts of becoming a nun were triggered by the musicale that was part of our graduation in 6th grade. I was asked to sing my role in the song: “I wonder what I’ll be when I am big someday.” I was told to sing: “ I want to be a nun (3 x) when I am big someday.

About God’s Work

As a testament to what a determined woman can do with God’s help, Thorn began Project Rachel while raising her family of six children. Project Rachel began as a diocesan initiative in 1984, and from there it gained momentum and widespread support across the United States and then Canada, which includes the Diocese of Calgary. 

She recalls at that time there were no experts to call upon when she developed Project Rachel. However, she was convinced then and still now practises a post-abortion healing ministry that offers anonymity, has a strong spiritual element and includes a psychotherapeutic component. The name Project Rachel is inspired by Scripture: “Rachel mourns her children, she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more” (Jeremiah 31:15).

Thorn knows that mothers of aborted babies go through different types of grieving and often seek forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. They are not the only ones who are traumatized from the loss of their child. Fathers who didn’t want the abortion, grandparents and siblings who later learned about it are also devastated. 

Thorn has travelled to 28 countries speaking to thousands about not only the impact of abortion on men, women and on our culture but of what God’s ultimate plan is for humanity revealed to us through the science of the human body. 

Family Matters

Thorn takes great joy in seeing her children value life. Now they’re all grown, and there are 14 grandchildren for her and her husband to enjoy. Each of her kids, she says, along with their loving partners and her grandchildren “are just a delight to my heart.”

Despite needing to lay low for health reasons, she said she’s still busy looking to expand and develop a framework for post-abortive healing in places around the world because, she explained, “you can’t just use an American model in other countries.” Her research has led her to seek communities of sisters who are already, as she said, “the boots on the ground” serving the people where they are. 

In Milwaukee she says, she’s running a program for African American pastors who want to learn about post-abortive healing. There is a great need but “not a lot of help.” 

Theology of the Body

This March, she’ll find herself at the Theology of the Body Conference in Calgary to speak to attendees about the science that undergirds the Theology of the Body, much of what she says is “well researched, but not well known.”

We have been seeing the effects of the sexual revolution since the 1960s culminating in what many in the Church refer to as a culture of death. Thorn spends a lot of her time explaining the wounds many of us experience as a result, with scientific studies to help her show the audience hard facts. 

What we will hear from her is much deeper than what we heard from high school sex education. 

Armed with the facts of male and female biology, the science of attraction and the biochemistry of sex and conception, Thorn will take us through the beauty of God’s plan for the human body.

“We haven’t really understood how awesome we are in terms of our sexuality,” she said, adding that over time the wonder and beauty of sex have been lost. What she’ll share with us will be concrete, uniting what the Church teaches with scientific fact, which will further our knowledge of what she says is “God’s intentional plan.”

Looking at all she has achieved and the ministry she continues to grow, attendees to the upcoming conference will be blessed to be part of her journey and work.

Written by Jessica Cyr

​​I was working in our garden shed one day when one of my teenage sons came in and asked me if he could get the Snapchat app on his phone. As a Gen X parent raising kids in the digital age, my kids know more about digital technology than I do. However, I was aware that on this particular app, images are sent and received and then disappear in a few seconds at the other end. My initial thought was, “what would be the purpose of an app like this other than to allow the sending of inappropriate images?”

I had to think quickly. Before entering the password into his phone to allow him to download the app, I had an opportunity for a conversation. 

I asked him why he thought Snapchat was created and how he planned to use it. He told me that a lot of his friends had it and were using it to chat and send photos. We then chatted about my concerns of using it for sexting, bullying and communicating in a space that lacks accountability. 

At that moment, I realized that it would not be a matter of IF he saw inappropriate images or pornography, but WHEN. So, we reviewed an earlier conversation about the dangers of pornography, the exploitation of others and how pornography can become addictive. 

I also knew that if I wanted him to come to me if he ever struggled with pornography, I needed to let him know how I would respond before it happened. So, I assured him of three things:

1. I would not take away his phone or any of his devices.
2. I would not discipline him, or make him feel guilt or shame; instead, I would thank him for telling me.
3. We would work together and explore a way forward.

I take this relational, proactive approach with my kids. Here are my top tips for keeping your kids safe from porn:

• Parent Tip #1 – Develop a healthy skepticism for what the Internet offers and how it can be used. 
• Parent Tip #2 - Every time your child wants a new device, game or app, you have an opportunity to have a conversation about it.
• Parent Tip #3 – Help your child to see things from your perspective.
• Parent Tip #4 – Identify the risks, set standards, and communicate clear expectations.  
• Parent Tip #5 – Relationship with our kids come first. They need our grace and understanding if they are going to let us be a part of their lives and walk this journey with them. 

Written by Cliff Wiebe, Community Development Specialist | Calgary Pregnancy Centre

The Exodus 90 challenge is a “spiritual exercise” meant to be a “roadmap to freedom that engages the whole man and transforms his very way of life.”[1]  The eight men in our Exodus 90 fraternity have engaged in this 90-day-long gruelling battle of man versus flesh in an attempt to grow closer together, rid ourselves of every earthly desire, and draw near to a God who calls from the Exodus epic, “Let my people go!” To do so, we have committed to the three pillars of fraternity, asceticism, and prayer, meeting every Saturday morning at the abode of our eighth member and spiritual guide, Father Cristino.

My journey toward seeking the heart of Jesus began over a decade ago with a book. The book challenged my entire view of masculinity as the world had presented it to me, suggesting “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”[2] I was convinced that a man must endure some suffering to understand that he has what it takes, to speak truth to the lies he has been told, and to seek the heart of Jesus is the true fulfilment of every desire. 

Being open to this truth has not been easy, as greater intimacy with the heart of Christ has always opened greater intimacy to my own heart, revealing deep woundedness and fragility. Allowing my vocation as a husband and father, teacher and chaplain to bury me in the battle has at times drawn me away from that search for intimacy with Jesus. Therefore, the Exodus 90 journey has been a welcome change of pace. Once more into the fray.

Exodus 90 has demanded a daily commitment of hourly prayer, a scriptural focus on the Book of Exodus, close contact with the fraternity, and a Levitical list forbidding alcohol, desserts, television, music, and the internet, to name a few. These are topped off with the pleasant addition of cold showers, fasting and abstinence twice, and exercise three times a week. 
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What binds our fraternity together is the common desire for transformation. Exodus 90 has not failed us yet in providing that opportunity, and although at times we have failed to meet its standards, our skin is growing thicker and our hearts are ever-softening. I ask that you pray for us as we die to ourselves in order to rise again this Easter. 

[1] Those Catholic Men, Inc. “Exodus 90” Apple App Store, Vers.1.0.2 (2019)
[2] Eldredge, John. (2001) “Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul” Thomas Nelson.

Written by Joseph Lawrence
Outdoor photo: (from left) Dustin Greenwald, Michael MacKinnon, Desmond Sanesh, Fr. Cristino Bouvette, Brian Salisbury, Joseph Lawrence, Matthew Szojka, Phillip Morin

​The occasional ambulance siren and the thrumming of a helicopter hovering a few hundred feet above ground were piercing the stillness of a beautiful afternoon in Panama city’s Cinta Costera.

If it weren’t for the tens of thousands of young people present along this three-kilometre stretch lining the city’s Pacific Coast, you would think you were in an abandoned city.

The stillness was incredible.

“Do not be afraid. Be courageous to be a saint in today’s world,” one could hear blazing through the loudspeakers.

“Perhaps, as Church, we have been unable to transmit this with sufficient clarity, because at times we, adults, think that young people don’t want to listen.”

Those were the words of Mons. Jose Ulloa Mendieta, the Metropolitan Archbishop of Panama. His impassioned homily on Tuesday’s opening Mass was a rousing call for every young Catholic listening.

“Do not be afraid. You need to be heard. You need to keep making us adults nervous.”

Stepping Back: Preparing for a Pilgrimage
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After having missed Krakow in 2016, a group of friends and myself decided sometime in early 2018 to go to Panama and “just do it.” And so that’s what we did — we bought our flights, paid the registration, and waited for January.

As the months flew by, it was becoming more and more apparent that this really was going to be a pilgrimage. Not that we didn’t know that ahead of time, but the questions we had during preparations made us realize things we otherwise wouldn’t have had if this were a vacation. Are we going to stay at a school gym or with a host family? Do we have a safe place to leave our stuff? Would I have a bed? Would we be able to do some laundry? How about my cameras: should I bring them? Which lenses should I bring? Do I really need them?

With all these little luxuries that I would otherwise take for granted on a normal vacation, I can’t help but see a significant parallel with our own spiritual life.

Aware of the fact that a wheelie luggage for this trip was a no-go (given the amount of walking we’d be doing), I was determined to fit all my clothes and belongings in a hiking pack — a small pack that forced me to reduce all that I’m bringing to not only the essentials, but to just enough quantity for these essentials.

One pair of shoes. Just enough clothes. Bible. Journal. No cameras.

Isn’t this true with our own spiritual life? The lesser the baggage, the better we’re able to focus on the journey. The lesser our attachment to earthly possessions, the greater the freedom we experience.

​The warmth of a people
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After waiting at Parroquia de Santa Maria for a few hours (together with hundreds of other pilgrims waiting for a ride to their accommodations), Xiomara finally arrived and came to see us. She and her husband, Rolando, together with their children Carlos and Andrea, would become our host family for the remainder of our stay.

The Mejia family was a real blessing. They made a home for those who needed one — mi casa es su casa, they say. But they weren’t the only ones: throughout the week, many of the people you’d meet on the streets would always be up for some conversation, despite us not speaking the same language. Hola! De que pais? My two years of Spanish in university was definitely useful, however horrible. I always asked them to speak slowly, otra vez y mas despacio por favor, so that I could understand them a little better. Then we were fine, or at least it seemed to me. And when we got to a point where we really could no longer understand each other, we would just end the conversation by laughing at ourselves. Ha!

I was struck by how friendly these people were. Late one evening, the manager of a local supermarket let us in their staff room to eat the free dinner we claimed at his store. On another occasion, several Muslim men set up a table outside their Mosque, handing out bottles of agua fria to the pilgrims who just came from the opening Mass not too far away. A big sign on their gate said: Bienvenidos amigos peregrinos (Welcome, pilgrim friends).

And who can forget that dreadful 21-kilometre hike to the vigil site: walking under the searing 35-degree heat for several hours, these friendly people boosted our morale by offering us a ride to our destination. At one point, a woman stopped her vehicle in the middle of the road and offered us a ride to her house nearby, urging us to take a rest and use the bathroom. And she wasn’t the only one!

A few hours and an obvious raccoon tan later, we finally made it to the vigil site: a vast, open field in an outer-city suburb that became the home for tired and exhausted pilgrims that night. It was an incredible experience: when the Holy Father led Adoration, the place was perfectly quiet and still. There we were, a few hundred thousand young people sitting out in the open under the clear night sky, adoring our Eucharistic Lord from a mile away. Later, when it came time for the Benediction, we all sang the Tantum Ergo. It was incredible. Everyone spoke different languages, but we all chanted that ancient hymn in unison — singing the Lord’s praises in the language of Holy Mother Church, which we all knew. It was a beautiful moment that sent chills down my spine: the sense of universality, of Catholicity, was so tangible.

​A sense of where we came from

A few days before, we attended a Traditional Latin Mass (TLM or the Extraordinary Form of the Roman rite) at a downtown Carmelite parish where Archbishop Alexander Sample was preaching. The Archbishop of Portland, OR has become somewhat famed because of his orthodoxy and fidelity to the teachings of Vatican II on the sacred Liturgy.

“Why are you here today?” asked the Archbishop, addressing a congregation full young people from all over the world. “You never grew up in this liturgical tradition, so why are you drawn to it?”

My experience of WYD has not been without its own share of wishy-washiness in the Liturgy. On two separate Masses — one even celebrated by a Cardinal — people seemed to be more intent on “celebrating” their culture instead of ordering all our attention to Jesus in the Eucharist. At one point right after communion (when everyone was about to kneel and pray), a priest took the mic and asked everyone to stand up and clap our hands to the rhythm of the song his choir was singing. On another occasion, a group went in front right after communion and started dancing to an upbeat, Caribbean-style dance music — the sort of which you’d hear on an Expedia cruise commercial — which was supposed to help everyone “better reflect on the Mass.” Yikes.

Hence, being at a TLM that afternoon was a source of assurance and an experience of the sacred, giving us all a sense of where we came from.

“I think it’s important for young people to see, experience, and participate in the Mass of the Ages…the same form of the Mass that nurtured our grandparents and so many of the saints we venerate today.”

Put out into the deep
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Having gone to several conferences before, I never thought that World Youth Day would hang heavy on my heart the moment it’s over. However, this one is different.

Throughout this entire pilgrimage, a message that I kept on getting from the catechesis, homilies, talks, and conversations was do not be afraid. And how appropriate — I was at an event started by a saintly man who never tired of saying the same thing during his pontificate.

“Most of us sinners live our lives in the shallow and spend our lives on the seashore,” said Bishop Barron, speaking about us being too easily amused with insignificant things and staying within our own comfort zones. “But when Christ the Lord steps into your boat and gets in your life, he will bring you to the deep.”

Do not be afraid….He will bring you to the deep.

This whole journey has been a reward in itself. Everything else was just a bonus. Now that I’m going back down to the valley after my mountaintop experience, the real earthly pilgrimage continues.  

Written by: Ryan Factura 

The moment I stepped into St. Bernard’s Church with one small child in tow and one gestating in my belly, I knew I’d be seeing more of the place. At a crossroads between our post-secondary days and life with a family, my husband Joseph and I were looking for a church to call home.

“Let’s go St. Bernard’s,” Joseph said, pointing out its 9 a.m. Mass time, ideal for our small child and in the community we’d moved to.  

I entered that Sunday with trepidation. I was a new mom with a toddler son who’d received a few annoyed glances at other Masses. We were elated and a bit surprised when people at St. Bernard’s just smiled at us and told us we were doing a great job, even though our toddler behaved exactly as expected – like a toddler. A smiling woman greeted us after Mass and offered us coffee and a cookie for our son.

That warmth and kindness was what made us stay. For almost eight years, we’ve been parishioners, welcoming three more children into our family and into the Church. It is that welcoming atmosphere that receives a new kind of young family – the church family that will be the St. Francis Xavier Chaplaincy Centre.

“It will be a tremendous addition to our community,” said longtime parishioner Nancy Steudler.

Nancy and her husband Chris began attending St. Bernard’s as a newly engaged couple in 1982. They too were welcomed by the parish and were married there in 1983. As their family grew to four children, they became leaders in parish ministries, contributing the life of the parish. They and many others expressed joy at welcoming young people from across the city to worship and keep the faith alive in this church.

During an information session for the parish, Fr. Matthew Emmelkamp, pastor at St. Bernard’s/Our Lady of the Assumption and Fr. Cristino Bouvette, Director of Vocations who will oversee the chaplaincy centre answered any questions that parishioners had.  Those in attendance seemed hopeful and mindful that young people are the future of the Church. 

​At the inaugural Mass I had a sense of hope as I watched the pews fill with young people along with parishioners I recognized – a few being founding members of the parish.

Since Bishop McGrattan was a bit under the weather, he asked Fr. Cristino Bouvette to give the homily.

Fr. Cristino cited the Gospel for that day where Jesus says “nobody puts new wine into old wineskins.”

“With the loving concern and care as our shepherd, Bishop McGrattan has seen that this new wine needs a new wine skin” he said, referring to the students and young professionals, along with newlyweds and families who will access the centre.

Drawing again on the Gospel, Fr. Cristino, comparing the crowd to grapes, said “many of you have begun to experience being crushed by various means and methods, because the world has an infinite number of them. And you’re beginning to be strained and purified.

“But contained within you is a power; a power that must be harnessed. A power that must be properly and lovingly cared for and maintained in order that that rich wine will be yielded.

“That power is the power of your vocation; That way in which God from the beginning of time already orchestrated in His mind a plan for your heart that when brought to fulfillment would transform this world.”

It was in this spirit that the nearly-full church celebrated Mass together with the Bishop and many of our priests.  Afterward, the narthex was filled with a buzzing, joyful crowd.

The need for the chaplaincy centre has grown apparent as Catholic on-campus ministries at the city’s post-secondary institutions have stretched themselves to capacity, serving the needs of a growing contingent of young people, primarily 18-35-year-olds.
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“We’re not going to be a status-quo parish,” said Fr. Cristino, pointing to the transitional stages that students, young professionals and young families are in. The aim of the St. Francis Xavier Chaplaincy centre is to be an off-campus place of transition and a launching point for the future leaders of the Church. 

Rob moved into his new apartment on Feb. 13, 2018. After six years of sleeping in a room that held up to eight men a night, he was eager to wake up in his own space. Since Valentine’s Day 2018 marked the day Rob would be able to get up when he wanted, he went to bed excited by the promise of the next day. After six years of not having a home to call his own, he looked forward to being able to make himself a cup of coffee he could drink while watching the morning news. He planned to sit at the table given to him by a new neighbour and watch a TV donated by another resident of his new apartment building. Life, finally, looked good.

But sleep was difficult.

“For the first week and a half, it was tough,” remembers Rob. He’d slept on the floor before, so the fact that he didn’t yet have a bed was the least of his worries. The real issue was the wall-to-wall silence. “At the DI (Drop In), there was always noise. Here, it was so quiet.” 

Walking for change

Hundreds of people will participate in the Downtown location of four Coldest Night of the Year (CNOY) walks being held in Calgary on Saturday, Feb. 23. Money raised at the CNOY Downtown event funds two of the Calgary Catholic Diocese’s biggest social justice projects, says Samantha Jones, Event Coordinator, on staff with the Diocese. “This is a fun and family-friendly fundraiser and we really encourage Catholics to come out with their families and friends. You can walk two, five or 10 kilometres and the money supports Feed the Hungry and KAIROS Calgary.”

KAIROS is an ecumenical group of churches focused on Social Justice issues in Calgary. Its share of the money raised at CNOY Downtown goes to HomeSpace, a charitable real estate developer that owns 521 units of rental housing in 27 properties across Calgary. KAIROS used CNOY funds to help pay off the mortgage on an affordable housing project in Acadia. Money from the 2019 walk will help pay the mortgage on Bankview Apartments, the building where Rob rents one of 27 units rented to single people, couples and small families.

Affordable, safe, supported -- and quiet

HomeSpace properties are operated in cooperation with other community agencies, including The Alex, CUPS and Alberta Health Services, explains Rina McDermott, who works with HomeSpace. “It’s important to help people find a place to live. But people who have been homeless often need additional support. They may need help preparing meals or learning how to clean their units. At Bankview, CUPS provides that wrap-around service to our residents. We want them to be successful.”

This year, McDermott will walk the downtown route with her work colleagues and a group of Vincentians from St. Peter’s parish in the northwest Calgary. “St. Bonaventure, St. Patrick’s and the youth group from St. James in Okotoks are regular contributors, too,” says Jones, who’d like to see more Catholic churches and church-based groups support the walk.

“We typically get about 400 walkers—but there is room for 900. One of the best things about this event is that kids are welcome and the route we take often gives people an opportunity to meet and visit with some of our homeless neighbours.”

​As an added bonus, the Saturday-night event includes a rest stop with hot chocolate and it ends with a chili supper sponsored by Boardwalk Rental Communities, one of the city’s largest housing rental property managers. Boardwalk also funds a Feed the Hungry dinner once a year.
 
Peace, at last

A year after moving into his apartment, Rob spends his days helping out around the building and working on cross-stitch pictures he sometimes sells. He looks forward to being able to use his balcony when the weather warms up—and he treasures its view of the city where he’s lived most of his life.

Unable to work but determined to stay busy, he sometimes goes back to the DI to help prepare and serve lunch and to visit friends. Having struggled with addiction, he never invites those friends back to his apartment; that would be too risky. Rob knows what it’s like to be evicted and he doesn’t want to live that pain again, especially not when he has it so good at Bankview. While he doesn’t know all of his neighbours, Rob volunteers to help cook when they gather for communal suppers. “I really like cooking. I did a lot of that at the DI and I like doing it here, too.”

These days, he also treasures the night-time silence at Bankview Apartments. The peace and quiet used to hinder his ability to fall asleep. A year later, that’s what “home” sounds like to Rob.

​Written by: Joy Gregory

Starting off a new year with at least one resolution is a common practice.  We promise our self to change something, to put something behind, or to embark on a newly formed habit.  This new year 2019 consider a pilgrimage as part of a new year’s resolution.  Pilgrimage can be as varied as the people considering them; not only as a metaphorical image of life itself, for we are all on a journey heavenward. What we hope to gain or to satisfy is part of an inner journey that we make, often to a physical place of religious significance.  It can be an act of curiosity, a devotion to atone for sins or to implore a grace for ourselves or others. 
 
If you are one of those who are contemplating a pilgrimage this year or perhaps leading a group yourself there are some tips that you should consider when planning or organizing a pilgrimage.  

The theme of Rise Up 2018 was “Come and See” (John 1:39). I was amazed at how much I felt called to “come and see” what God was doing throughout the conference. I was raised Catholic and have placed God at the centre of my life, but I knew that there was still so much that the Father wanted to reveal to me.

On the third night of the Rise Up, all of the students were given the opportunity to be prayed over by a CCO missionary and member of the religious. While I was being prayed over, I could tangibly feel God’s presence and knew that He was calling me to be bolder in my faith and how I share it. Having been Catholic my whole life, it had been easy to fall into the routine of the sacraments and campus ministry, forgetting how life-changing the message of Jesus is.

After being prayed over, I went back to my seat and told God in prayer, “Before I can go out and do your work, I need to be truly convicted in my Christian identity”. Right away, He answered my prayer. God gave me a beautiful image of myself adorned with a crown of flowers and spoke the word “daughter” to me! This reminded me that I truly am a child of the King and that God desires for all His children to come to this realization, as well.
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The conviction I received that night at Rise Up gave me the confidence to be more courageous in how I evangelize to the people in my parish, school, and day-to-day life. Experiencing God again and His personal love, I’ve been filled with the desire to invite other people into a relationship with Him and to “come and see” what He has to offer them.

Written by: Mary Serafini
Photo: Catholic Christian Outreach

You are called to become a saint. You have a God-given mission. Catholic Christian Outreach (CCO) has been speaking these truths into my life since I met the university student movement while on campus 13 years ago.

I came to know the personal love of Jesus by doing a faith study with a CCO missionary when I was 22. Since then I’ve been to the annual Rise Up Conference seven times in six different Canadian cities, but this time was different. I got to go as a workshop presenter with my husband on the topic of ‘holiness in the world.’ It was inspiring to hear the ways young adults are boldly living their faith in the world, and eye-opening to hear the challenges they are up against in the culture.

Sharing with you a baptism story of Yuan Wang, a member of the University of Calgary Catholic Community. Wang is a Mechanical Engineering student at U of C, and he was baptized on Dec. 8 (Solemnity of Immaculate Conception) by Fr. Cristino Bouvette at Sacred Heart Church, Calgary.